Barley and Hops Tavern

Your ugly sweater.

2010-12-13T12:05:00.000-08:00

For some reason which has, through the ages, befuddled youngsters everywhere, the elderly punish kids by sending them horrific sweaters as their sole gift for Christmas. Luckily (for at least this one reason) I grew up in the greater Los Angeles area, and sweaters weren't a part of my yearly ensemble. It was more a fashionable mix of Gotcha, Quicksilver, and the occasional hyper-color. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it's because you aren't from 28-38 years old. In any case, closets throughout the world, at least in the chillier climes, are stuffed to bursting with knitted travesties, such that Bill Cosby himself would blush. Perhaps it was puffily painted representations of kittens, snuggled in a basket with vacant beaded stares. Maybe argyle which clashes not with what else you wear, but within the very pattern itself. Some pattern designer who crissed one too many crosses went cookoo bananas and decided that YES, neon orange DOES in fact blend nicely with both mint green AND ochre.

And YOU, not wanting to suffer the indignity, discomfort, and shame of actually donning such a garment, relegate it to the far reaches of your closet. We all have this area in our closet; the area where no light penetrates, like the event horizon of a black hole - all enter, yet none return. It is behind the winter jacket, past the overalls which are totally going to go back in style soon, beyond the shirt from the t-shirt gun which is 17 sizes to small, but which you refuse to give away; it lies in the farthest expanses. You may not have a walk-in closet, but it's in an area you certainly can't reach, beyond the farthest frontier. Against the wall is your ugly sweater.

You've kept it all these years, because you felt bad that grandma knitted it with love (she actually bought it at Marshals on the clearance rack, check the label, it's made in a country that no longer exists, and may in fact, have never existed).

NOW, its true purpose is revealed.

This New Years Eve at Barley and Hops Tavern, is our first annual ugly sweater party. The ugliest sweater wins up to a $100.00 CASH PRIZE.

Details to follow.

You have been warned.

One up!

2010-08-31T22:40:00.000-07:00

If you're in my chronological vicinity - that is to say - between 28 and 35, you remember 1-ups mainly in the form of Mario or Luigi punching green mushrooms. The fact is that video games no longer have a finite number of lives, and one-upping has taken on a new (or perhaps older) definition: Taking a concept, no matter how inane, and expanding upon it. This has, frankly, gotten re-snarkulous in the restaurant realm. I say realm, because I hate saying segment. Unless you're talking about centipedes, or citrus wedges, one should never use the word segment - it's annoying, and everyone hates it when you do it. So Stop. Where was I... Restaurant realm.

So everyone has seen the "Double Down" debacle, that KFC travesty, inflicted upon people stupid enough to buy such a thing. Yes, you're stupid if you buy factory made fried "chicken" stuffed with cheese-textured oil product, and what looks like bacon, but is probably the stuff that they say dogs can't tell isn't bacon. Which, by the way, is bullsnark. Dogs know. And they're hurt you'd try to deceive them, in the pretense that it's for their own good, you sanctimonious bastards.

Anyway- this is my segue to beer.

I hadn't realized the extant of barley one-upsmanship until getting into this business. There is a war on every front. One of the most hysterical, to me, are the macros arguing through millions of dollars of advertisement over whose beer has the lowest number of calories, and, of those insipid entries, which is the best tasting (which you should read as least offensive).

First off, super low calorie beer sucks. Let's talk about flavor. Beer consists of Barley and water, and is flavored with hops. The calories, by and large, come from the starches, which are converted via yeast into sugars and alcohol (and CO2). Sugar and alcohol have calories. Low alcohol beer is fine; a great deal of wonderful Czech Pils and German Lagers, as well as English Milds are between 3 and 4.5 percent. But they have flavor. If you want 60 calories of something with flavor, you are barking up the WRONG tree, Bucko. The commercial might say that Peoples Don't Know it's not Beer! But if you're even as smart as your dog, you'll know. I mean, are the 50 more calories in an Anchor steam REALLY worth cringing through crappy fake beer? Do an extra 10 situps and enjoy an actual beer, for the love of pie. Beer has been shown countless times to encourage healthy cholesterol, it has a good deal of protein, and even folate, along with antioxidants. Treat it as food. If you are that concerned about 50 calories, brew up some nice iced tea instead. It's just as good for the heat, is healthy, and has virtually zero calories.

Next up is on the other end of the spectrum - the race to have the strongest beer. This gets less press coverage because craft breweries spend their money on beer. As strange as it sounds not to dump every cent into advertising a flavorless, useless product. Nevertheless, a couple of breweries, one in Scotland, the other in Germany, are now pushing 43 percent, and going back and forth. The process is ice distillation. A beer is brewed, and then water is frozen out and removed, concentrating the beer further and further. This is very expensive, as it takes a ton of Barley and Hops to make a tiny amount of beer. I think that if you similarly distilled a six pack of Bud, removed all the water ice, you'd end up with something approaching a Sam Adams, but more watery. It's fun to be on top, but the fact is, these beers taste only marginally good, and are very gimicky.

Somewhere in the middle lies the hop-head beers. Every brewery on the West Coast seems to release an unapologetic one dimensional hop-bomb, listing the IBUs for comparison. These huge IPAs can be good now and then, but it does happen at the expense of good balance.

Gimmicky food and beer are like fad diets. They might seem to you like a good idea, (unless you're really smart, like me) until you realize that balance, not excess, can be exciting. It's pretty damn rare these days. Try something new - not "I want your lightest/strongest/hoppiest/sweetest". Try something without the superlative ending. Ask for something balanced. You might have forgotten how good it can be.

'Cause dogs know. And so do you.

Missing

2010-08-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

Weirdly, some of my more recent blogs have mysteriously disappeared. I'm not sure what all has happened - but - you, my voracious readers, may find out all that is new in our growing business at our Facebook page, which is very frequently updated with interesting morsels of information. Sometimes there are pictures. Friend us here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Occidental-CA/Barley-and-Hops-Tavern/115289395166304?ref=ts

How to be awesome, a step-by-step guide to being a customer that doesn't get made fun of when you leave.

2010-05-15T15:30:00.001-07:00

The restaurant business is legendary. Some 9 of 10 new restaurants fail within a year. The hours are grueling, and include weekends and holidays. The pay is usually mediocre (at least in the casual dining segment), and the risk is high. It's a career we chose out of love of great food and great beer. We love our customers, and at any given time, I know about 85% of the people at the bar.

I often get asked (and I'm paraphrasing) "Noah, you're really awesome and good looking, and also rad. Is there something that differentiates the great customers from the good customers, and the good ones from the bad, and the bad ones from the really terrible ones and..." I usually cut them off at this point, as their sentence devolves into a bizarre, self-perpetuating logical loop.

The simple answer is "yes". Here is a behind-the-scenes look at what we love, what we hate, and what we are completely indifferent to, with respect to you the customer. If you have worked in the restaurant trenches before, you probably already know this. In that case, read on with a smug smirk, and nod slowly, knowingly.

1. Tips. A lot of customers think that this is the very most important thing. It's not. Frankly, I know how rough the economy is. I'd rather have you able to afford a beer and a meal three times a week, than once in a while with a big tip. We are in it with you, and we don't assume you're a cheapskate, simply because you aren't a big tipper. That said, servers in this business are mainly compensated with tips. If you CAN afford to tip well, it is noticed and appreciated every time. Our staff works hard to offer the best possible service.

2. Payment method. Ok... I hate credit cards. There, I said it. I actually like them. They offer a fast convenient way to pay, and leave a nice paper record. At the end of the night, there's a nice printout with a total. It's all very nice. But I hate them. I hate them so much, that I have a credit-card voodoo doll named Spotfield McFlankenshnooker that I stab nightly with yellow crayons. It's the hideously high swipe rates. Using a credit card costs us between 1-5 percent of your total bill. That's thousands upon thousands of dollars every year that nobody gets any value for.

The basic regular non-rewards card falls under "Qualified". Those have the best rates. They still suck, but they suck less.

The rewards cards- the ones that give you miles, or some benefit. Those are Mid-Qualified. Those suck heinously and cost us a lot. Bank Debit cards fall under Mid-Qualified. The worst are the Non-Qual.

Non-Qualified cards have a special ring of hell waiting for them. These include corporate credit cards, gift cards, and any cards where your stupid magnetic strip won't swipe because you keep it in your pocket with your #20 grit sandpaper collection. These cost us a large chunk of money to use.

This brings me to split transactions. This is the sort of thing servers will hate you for, especially during busy service: A group of 6 people come in, and then decide they want to split the bill three ways. We are now paying TRIPLE swipe fees - thanks a lot. Moreover, the bartender is now tied up three times longer splitting the check in the computer (even worse if you split it by item rather than by amount), and running three credit cards, when other people are waiting for their delicious beverages. Then there are three tickets to close instead of one, which also takes triple the amount of time.

In sum: Use cash whenever possible. This saves the restaurant a lot of money. If you must use a card, try and use a no-frills credit card. If you are going to share the cost, think about it before you come in, and have one person pay, rather than tying up a lot of staff during busy service, and doubling (or tripling, or quadrupling...) our (already insane) swipe fees. We keep a 100% homemade menu below 15 dollars on razor thin margins. We don't want to raise our prices, please help us keep them low.

3. Kid's menus. Kids are people, just smaller and funnier looking. They are capable of eating real food that isn't heavily processed. We don't have frozen chicken fingers off the Sysco food service truck. We LOVE kids. They're small and fuzzy like cats. Bring your kids in for some real food. If you want to feed your kids processed junk food off a kids menu, seek out TGI-McFunsters (credit to Anthony Bourdain), and get an order of smothered flingo poppers, with extra texas jack daniels smokin' Bar-B-Qatchup. They'll have a kids menu with all the frozen mass-produced favorites keeping kids large. We don't have it. We won't make it. Our kids menu is the same as our adult's menu.

4. The Kitchen. The Kitchen is not for customers to walk into and ask a chef for an order of something. Seriously, this happens. The kitchen is full of sharp pointy things, hot splashy things, and angry people with poofy hats. Ask a server.

5. If something isn't right, let me know right away, so we can make it right! We try our best to consistently send out the world's greatest food, but once in a while, something isn't right. Don't wait for the next time you come in, or the end of the meal. We really want you to enjoy everything, and will gladly fix or substitute if something isn't right.

6. We're a casual pub, not fine dining. Though we have top quality fare that costs half what it would at Francois' Snooty Grille, we don't have free bread and butter before meals. We could, but then we'd sell less appetizers, and we'd have to raise our prices. We're a pub. Pubs don't have a bread course, or linen tablecloths, or 6 pieces of silverware designed for an obscure fish from the coast of an unpronounceable island.

Facebook!

2010-04-22T13:21:00.001-07:00

Make sure to add us to your facebook account! Click the facebook icon to the left.

New Faces (from this week's newsletter)

2010-04-05T12:33:00.001-07:00

Fool's Day Parade was a smashing success. Thanks to everyone who showed up to see Porkchop Fancypants, Kosuke spinning, and the Easy Leaves! What a blast!

You may notice that I'm not behind the bar 100% of the time anymore, just 90% of the time. Many of you may not realize, but our pub is actually run by an intricate system of robots, hamsters, gears, cogs, and sprockets-- all meticulously interconnected in the basement-- which all require close monitoring, occasional servicing, and frequent feeding. To that end, I've given myself ample time to tend to the business of business. Fortunately, for the Tues-Thurs that I'm not behind the bar, you will find one of two new people.

One of which is Eric. Eric is an extremely talented chef who previously worked over at Starlight, my favorite restaurant in Sonoma county, besides my own. He's the big dude with the tattoos on his arms and the same brand of abrasive charm which I've been accused of wearing. He's pretty rad, and has a bar shift or two, and cooks a lot of your delicious food.

The other is Noah G. Not to be confused with Noah B., which is me. I don't hire people on the basis of name alone, but, let's face it, most Noah's are awesome. He is a Sharks fan and a craft beer geek like me. He wears glasses, making it easier to tell us apart. Some people think the G in is name stands in for "glasses". It doesn't. It stands for awesome.

Draft Wine

2010-03-06T13:12:00.000-08:00

So we're in the middle of Wine Country, I'm told. As beer aficionados, we are wont to forget that Sonoma County is the pinnacle of wine grape producing land. Though beverages composed of barley, hops, yeast, and water are more awesomely delicious than those not, wine is still good.

This abundance of great wine-producing land has lead to a bevy of boutique wineries dotting the county like dots on a dotted dot-to-dot. A sort of upscale ambulance chasing; each of these wineries visit newly opened restaurants (or those recently the target of excellent press). A typical conversation:

Me: "Barley and Hops Tavern, this is Noah"

Them: "Hello, this is Egbert Schnoodlbakker with Schnoodlbakker wines; may I speak to the individual in charge of purchasing wines"

Me: "That would be me, I'm Noah, the owner, but we're a bit busy, because it's ..."

Them: "When would be a good time to bring you a sample of our excellent Schnoodlbakker wines, I'm SURE you've heard of us..."

Me: "Well, we're a Tavern; squarely focused on beer, you know we have over 50 ..."

Them: "Our wine is the best selling ..."

Me: "I'm sure it's lovely, like a fresh slice of honeydew melon on a hot Autumn's eve, however, I don't have a lot of wine business, as I said, we're a tavern who .."

Them: "If you sold OUR wine, why, your customer base would quad-tupple!"

Me: "Really? Because most of the people ask for 'house red' or 'house white', or want something local, which I already have. I bring in Boheme, which..."

Them: "Yes, yes, but Schnoodlbakker Summer Reisling-Guwertzraminer-Merlot blend pairs perfectly with... what sort of food do you serve"

Me: "Pub grub, fish and ch..."

Them: "It pairs better with fish than any other wine!"

Me: "What's it cost?"

Them: "Well, we can discuss case prices after we come over and sample you on Schnoodlbakker's ENTIRE line of wines... when did you say we can meet"

... inevitably, we meet, the wine is good, but I don't have a spot for it, because, you know, I'm a tavern. I wonder if Breweries hound wine bars that they could dramatically increase their beer business if only they carried Russian Imperial IPA from Blazing Porcupine brewery out of Pennsyltucky, New Hampster, which has the best hop-growing soil dontcha know, wouldn't that be great!? I'll bring by a sample of our entire line, and bring my friend who has a tire business and really, I mean, if you want the best treadwear ratings, you NEED these tires, you could increase your tire business like 100%!!

But on one such occasion, I was swayed. Because it's on draft. You know, draft.

So Mas Vino calls me. At first I'm skeptical, because a company who calls their winery "More Wine" sounds fairly cheesy, by which, I mean it sounds like something you'd find on the table at an Olive Garden, if you were to walk into one, which you would never, ever do.

On the other hand, I drink beer with names like "Moose Drool" and "Hop Stoopid" so I really shouldn't judge on name alone. Otherwise, I'd never have made such close friends with Applesauce McWeaselchowder.

The interesting thing is that, instead of bottling, they keg their wine up in roughly pony-sized kegs. Restaurants then put these pump kegs atop their bar, and let it pour out. The advantage is that the wine is pushed by Nitrogen, filling the headspace as wine empties, and virtually eliminating oxidation. The stuff is good for months. To illustrate the point, the rep brought me a keg that had been first opened like 90 days prior, and it still was delicious. The advantages of Mas Vino (I still can't say that with a straight face) are the lack of oxidized wine, which eliminates pouring out 1/4 bottles of wine all the time. You see, we're a tavern, and don't sell tons of wine...

The disadvantage is that the keg is fairly large, and fairly ... let's say, unattractive ... atop the bar. I stated as much, because I always say what I think (except when I don't). So she tells me that the keg can ALSO be tapped using a conventional draft system, and pushed through draft faucets. NOW you're talking. We maintain the pub look-and-feel, save the environment by not generating as many empty bottles, keep wine fresh for much longer, and improve our house wine to, frankly, a really tasty blended red, and a chard.

The chard keg sits in the basement keg walk-in, along with the nitrogen tank. The red is just below the bar at ambient temperature. Both feed to a brand new two-handle draft tower to the far left of your usual 10 drafts, increasing our draft list to 12 (9 beer, 1 cider, 2 wine). Time will tell if we've made the right move, but so far, the comments have been thoroughly positive. We are among the first to have a draft wine system anywhere in the area, and really anywhere at all. So come check it out, we won't make fun of you for ordering wine at the pub ...

Well, maybe a little.

New Beer List

2010-02-25T19:46:00.001-08:00

Check out, in the left panel, the new beer list, in pdf format. Up-to-date with all of our bottles and prices. Drafts? Working on an easier way to keep everyone up-to-date with our ever changing draft list. Know a talented web professional who is good with SPRY, and will work in partial trade?

2010-01-27T20:46:00.000-08:00

For the first time in over a year and a half, I'm writing from the inside of my own restaurant. Usually, slinging pints and chatting up the locals prevents me from setting up my laptop; yet here I am, on my "day off", bellied up to the bar. Usually, I'd be home sitting on lazy couch.

Have you ever been to IKEA? IKEA is full of Rivigs, Blabbarsnoofl, Glimma, and of course, Beddinge. Like most, I can't read Swedish. I know perilously little about Sweden, other than the fact that their rivers and bordering oceans are filled with gummy red fish, which taste like fake raspberries. One other thing that they do well is make, or at least design, flat-pack furniture at an absurdly low price. Such was the case when we were looking for a sofa. Looking for a sofa usually entails endlessly sitting on various models and designs, in search of sublime posterior comfort, however, this was our... SECOND couch. Yes, at the time, we lived in such a large abode, that two couches were necessary. Truth told, it was a futon which would double as a bed for the guest room which was the object of our search. We decided to sacrafice comfort for combination of cost and versatility, and edded up with Beddinge.

Fast forward to the present. Currently we live in a very, very tiny rental which would not fit our previous, luxurious couch. We have made Beddinge our MAIN sofa. Beddinge is not comfortable. Beddinge is Swedish for "Ow, my ass."

Beddinge opens up into a bed.

We've only recently remembered this fact, and began leaving Beddinge in said open position, hence, "Lazy Couch"

On a day like this, I'd be sitting on lazy couch, drinking a beer, while Mir feeds me grapes and fans me with palm fronds, as strains from classical Wagner permeate the house.

Today, I'm shadowing. Shadowing sounds like ninja activity, but, in fact, involves me micromanaging our newest staff member, Eric. Eric will be helping out in the bar, and moreso in the kitchen in the coming months. But enough about Eric, let's focus on me. Though it may seem merely an incredibly verbose way of stating the obvious, this fascinating rambling does have a point.

I'm on the other side of my bar. I'm on my laptop. I'm blogging about blogging at my bar. And that's pretty cool.

New Year's Eve at the Tavern!

2009-12-28T13:34:00.000-08:00

Come ring in 2010 with your Tavern! The Easy Leaves will be playing day and night, and we'll have a special..er.. special. Duck. You know, Duck, they're delicious. mmm. Ducks.

This year has been manic. In the blink of an eye, the year has already gone past.
2010 included:
Some amazing beer. Our roster has included some pretty far out brews from lands far, far away (like Delaware, which I'm still not entirely convinced actually exists).
Double shifts. Mir has been in the kitchen for doubles nearly every Saturday and Sunday in the past several months. She cooks like a pro, which is fairly incredible for an illustrator / graphic designer / kitten herder.
A top notch chef. Mike has really bring our specials to the next level. His dishes are comfortable and exciting at the same time. Talking food with Mike is one of my great daily pleasures.
Great help. Tish really stepped up while I was injured and the bar was as it was when I left it. Our serving staff has also been great, and are the subject of frequent compliments, postcards, and I believe a reality show is in the works.
A difficult economy. Everyone is saving, and spending what little money they have on necessities. Luckily, beer is a necessity for some, and we have managed. We appreciate the continued patronage of our regulars, semi-regulars, irregulars, and down-right nutcases which grace our stools and seats. Costs go up but we've managed to keep our menu 100% below 15 dollars, and will do our best to continue so.
Amazing music. We've had great bands this year, from weekly fave Jen Tucker, K-BOB, and monthly regular (and New Years band!) The Easy Leaves. Earstu, CM3, Hannah Jern-Miller, and many others have really made weekends great at the Tavern. In addition, Kosuke and John have managed to keep the tables rockin, and we love them for it.
Grease Trap. The grease trap incident of 2009 will forever hang in our heads as an example of stubborn folly to save money. A 1000+ gallon grease trap outside of the building needs to periodically be serviced (read emptied). Former restaurants have not been diligent in doing so, which was not apparent until we looked inside, and decided we'd give it a go ourselves. Dressed like nuclear technicians about to rotate uranium rods, we tried a homemade rig of shovels and buckets.

Hah.

No.

Not so much.

Our grease trap has been professionally emptied. That's all I shall recount at this time.
Taxes. It seems that every time you do anything as a business owner, there is some way that some governmental body wants a very large piece of it. I have a JD and a BA in business, and have never heard of half of the types of tax we continually pay so that, I assume, the governator can afford a matching set of rolex back scratchers.
Hockey. There are, amazingly, Sharks fans in Sonoma county. Many of them converge on my business weekly and enjoy the game with us. Go Sharks!
And very importantly, our parents. We would not be where we are without their love and support. We do miss going home for holidays.

Open Christmas Eve

2009-12-24T12:54:00.000-08:00

We'll be open our regular hours today, closed Christmas Day, and re-open at 4:00 on Saturday.

Dining out for Life

2009-11-30T12:04:00.000-08:00

This Thursday we will donating a large portion of our day's profits to the Dining out for Life program which is a wonderful annual fundraiser for AIDS research. So come in with all of your friends and eat 'till ya pop! It's a great cause! As a small business in tough economic times, it's difficult to give, but this is IMPORTANT, so come, eat, drink, and do some good. Yeah, that means YOU!

Yes, we can...

2009-11-16T11:48:00.000-08:00

I realize, of course, that canning beer is anathema among many alcoholic malt beverage aficionados. As with a great many crafts, it's the ritual of the thing that matters. Would-be ebook converts don't because there is "something about holding a book". Would-be modern car enthusiasts don't because there is "something about tuning a carburetor". And, would be canned beer imbibers don't, because there is "something about a glass bottle". I enjoy the ritual of a thing. I'd rather use my trusty knife to scallop potatoes than spend a zillionth of the time with the food processor. I consider capping a bottle an artform, and have speed cappers all over the restaurant in case I need one at a moment's notice. Hundreds of them.

So yeah, canned beer. I know about Oskar Blues but never really bothered with it, until my distributor dropped off the entire line for me to sample. I'm not so arrogant as to not drink it, and I already have exceptions (the excellent Maui Brewing Coconut Porter, Murphy's, Young's Double Chocolate)... but IPA in a can? Scottish Strong in a can?

It turns out that the cans used by craft brewers are coated; aluminum should not ever touch beer. A can is, I grudgingly admit, superior for 1) keeping oxygen out, and 2) keeping light out. I do wish they'd find a way to get a bottle cap on the damn thing, because opening a beer shouldn't "feel" like opening a pop. A pop bottle is different from a beer bottle, and a beer can should be different than a pop can. In fact, a craft beer can should be different from a macro-brew can, which should be avoided at all costs, except to use to rinse glassware.

So the beer. Oskar Blues' entire line was impressive, from a well-crafted pils, to a hop-forward pale, to the Scottish Strong (fave), the double red, and the BIG stout. The flavor profiles translate perfectly, I was able to get a good pour, and the product was, as far as I can see, wholly unaffected by the canning process. Good enough that I'm considering bringing some on.

And if you think about it, it really makes a lot of sense. The shipping costs have to be many orders of magnitude cheaper. Imagine how much less the product weighs in light aluminum than in heavy glass. This also lessens the environmental impact of shipping. It makes stocking much more space efficient - cans can go high, bottles can't. They take up way less room in my bottle fridge. Which I suppose I could call a beer fridge, in that it holds cans now too. And wine. And juice. Liquid beverage fridge. The LBF. I keep it in the ol' LBF.

Oskar Blues was the first commercially successful craft brewery to can (there was a failed attempt prior), and now there are 52, and growing. The large craft brewers are even getting in on the action, partly because certain places (lake beaches, etc) don't let you bring bottles, but do let you bring cans. They're also less heavy to hike with. So you can still enjoy craft beer in the woods. If you've ever been camping (real camping, not "camping"), you know the pack-in pack-out rule. Well crushed aluminum is much easier to pack out.

Next time you're scanning the aisles of your favorite bottle (and can!) shop, grab something new, don't fear the cans; I no longer do.

HALLOWEEN 2009!!

2009-10-29T23:47:00.000-07:00

Don't miss two days of Halloween fun! Crystal Awareness will be spinning some haunting ambient music for your listening pleasure Friday night, with DJs and live music on Saturday as well! Bring the kids, we'll have candy to hand out! At 9:00 catch Prize Pig in their BH Tavern Debut! Should be an amazing show - I know the bass player, and he's good. Really good. 9:00PM, and it will get CRAZY. NO COVER as always.

Also, GO SHARKS!

You don't understand... it's ENDLESS

2009-10-21T13:27:00.000-07:00

Say you have the most number of something, ever. THEN, you realize "wait, I have more!". Such is the abstract concept of endlessness.

I really hate chain restaurants. I hate the pre-packaged badness, made without love, by people who don't care about food. People who cook at chain restaurants have no vested interest in the recipe. They simply cook exactly the same as everyone else at every location, like a robot. But not the cool Lost In Space robot that's all "Danger Will Robinson! Danger!" although, it should be, because this sort of cooking is danger. DANGER.

So anyway, every year various chain restaurants have a limited time all-you-can-eat special. One of these atrocities is very close to my heart. And you know, it really is painful to admit, as I'm a restaurant owner who has really, really rad food made right by people who really love what they do.

About 14 (holy pancakes that's long), years ago, I met my then-future wife, Jellyfish, whose real name is Mirjam, which you all know and love if you read my blog, which you do, dutifully. So we were in college in New Hampshire which is where you end up if you go northeast until you can't go northeast anymore, except for Maine, which is populated entirely by lobsters. The food in New Hampshire is mediocre, by which I mean awful, except for a few things which are done well (pancakes, fish-n-chips). Everything also closes REALLY early. So at one point we end up at a Red Lobster. Red Lobster is a weird name for a restaurant. Lobsters turn red when you cook them. It's a bit like naming a restaurant "Brown Burger" or "Yellow Omelet" or "Pink Hippo". Anyway, in typical chain-restaurant fashion, they have a large menu which is really about 3 things prepared slightly differently.

That night, however, they had ENDLESS SHRIMP.

And we were hungry.

I'm actually surprised that a marine conservancy foundation didn't contact us with a lawsuit for endangering the... well, most likely, farm raised Chinese shrimp. We ate a few billion shrimp, and have done so every year since. Halloween, for us, brings thoughts of endless piles of mediocre shrimp, served by a teenager, along with huge glasses of mediocre beer. I think, at least, they carry SNPA these days.

We were talking about endless shrimp at the bar last night, and our patrons were equal parts sickened and intrigued. Therefore, we've decided, that next year's Endless Shrimp will be a group effort, complete with video and perhaps team jerseys.

More on Endless Shrimp tomorrow, for we go tonight.

The Fest!

2009-10-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

Oktoberfest was a huge success this year! Thank you all for coming out. I'm still waiting for some of the images from various peoples' cameras, but here are a few of you enjoying Oktoberfest!

OKTOBERFEST 2009 Oct 2-4!

2009-10-01T00:12:00.000-07:00

CLICK IMAGE FOR MENU! DON'T MISS OKTOBERFEST, THIS WEEKEND!!!!!

OKTOBERFEST 2009 Oct 2-4!

2009-09-25T13:22:00.000-07:00

It's that time again! Oktoberfest is traditionally a 16 day festival, held in Munich through late September, and ENDING in October. Last year, we held a three-day long fest in late September, but this year, we've moved the festivities to early October (so as not to conflict with various other area events). This year's three day long Oktoberfest will feature live music, and a 100% Bavarian menu for all three days! This is not in addition to our regular menu. That's right - we are going German for a full three day weekend! The menu will be posted shortly, but will feature all of your favorites from last year, plus a couple new ones.

Oktoberfest, of course, would not be complete without full authentic 1 Liter steins of proper German beer, including the very traditional Marzen style. Last year we sold out QUICKLY and will be ordering extra, but get yours EARLY. Details will be posted Saturday!

~~Cheers!~~ Prost!

Starlight Wine Bar and Restaurant

2009-09-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

When we're not eating at the pub, we LOVE the Starlight in Sebastopol. We are very sad to report that Thad, our good friend is undergoing cancer treatment. Starlight is holding a benefit for Thad, click here for donations or details. If you've never been to the Starlight, you have to go; it's this fantastic converted train car in Grav. Station (headed toward Santa Rosa on 12), and some of the best food (and company) in town. If it's been a while, head down there and tell 'em that Barley and Hops sent ya! All our best to Thad, and to a very speedy recovery.

Monday Night Football Specials!!

2009-09-17T17:40:00.001-07:00

Barley and Hops Tavern is the place to be for Monday Night Football! The best wings in the area, totally organic, and with 4 homemade, mouth-watering flavors, for .75 / wing (bar only)! That's $4.50 for a half-dozen authentic wings! As many as you like at .75/ea - 6 min per style. We'll also have rotating draft specials during the game (bar only), and the game on the big plasma! Come early - the bar can fill up fast!

In other news, the Hockey season is starting up - get ready for a big Sharks season this year, with a few slapshot specials. Stay tuned for details!

Follow this blog!

2009-09-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

Want to stay up-to-date with my latest rants, music calendar, and such!? Follow my blog by clicking here: http://www.blogger.com/follow-blog.g?blogID=8591577930762304407

Real Tacos

2009-09-08T11:02:00.000-07:00

So it really was inevitable, as usual when you get your expectations high for something. Let me tell you something that will take you far as both an eater and a cooker.

Now listen up, because I'm only going to say this once, and there WILL be a test at the end, and it WILL be graded and go on your permanent record, which is, you, know, PERMANENT. Here it is. Right.... now:

Authentic food is best defined by what's not in it.
Not all good food is authentic.
Not all authentic food is good.

Food which claims to be authentic, but isn't, is never good.

See? That wasn't so hard. Now I understand that you find this cynical. It IS cynical because authentic food is HARD TO FIND even in places where it should be. It's cynical that most food is so inauthentic, that it's easier to define it by whatever does NOT have a bunch of crap in it that doesn't belong, but it's a fact, more and more.

Suburban sprawl, which is the only geographic setting that makes me want to assplode into a million pieces like the death star, is the main reason for this dumbing down. You know the area, the one where an entire shopping center is designed to look like a city center, but feels more like a b-movie set; vaguely reminiscent of the thing it mockingly imitates, but ultimately fails. It's filled with restaurants which serve food which is vaguely reminiscent of the thing it mockingly imitates, but ultimately fails. It is prepared, factory style, by cooks who aren't even vaguely reminiscent of chefs, and described on menus which are filled with indescribably insulting ethnic-ish phrases which ultimately mean nothing, or, at best, mean crappy bland food. Like "Loco Fajitas!" or "Super-Volcano Flingoes (R) with Chipotlaise (R)!"

Such travesties are typically followed by head-punchingly stupid descriptions which PRIDE themselves in their bastardizations of once recognizable food.

"First, we take our Ranchorita guacomolita and SMOTHER it on our godzilla tacos, THEN we deep fry it in..." you get the picture.

More accurately would be:

"First, we find a food that is inexpensive, technically edible, cheap, and lasts 10000 years on a shelf (liquid cheese product!), then add frozen, pre-portioned, identical meat of any variety, then pay people to reconstitute this travesty and pass it as food... with attitude!"

Bah. People would still eat it.

Now wait a second. You're thinking: "what about tex-mex, and other natural fusion?" This stuff is good, AND authentic. Corned beef and cabbage wouldn't exist without Irish immigrants and Jews living together in New York. New York pizza wouldn't exist, nor would a lot of things. This is good, it's authentic, it was built out of love for food, necessity, and using tradition combined with what was available locally. This is my favorite sort of food. This is not what I'm talking about.

So anyway, dad and I drove from Vista (Southern CA) to Nashville, and ate a lot of chicken tacos along the way. I was hoping to find Authentic tacos but would settle for good ones. First, let me demonstrate my prior statement, about authenticity being defined as what is NOT present. An authentic taco does not have any of the following:

1. Yellow Cheese
2. Crunchy shells (this actually exists in parts of Mexico, but is still sort of chewy, not the rock hard factory shells you get at taco-hut)
3. Ground beef.
4. Sour cream
5. Anything canned

So, with many regional variations, we're talking a double corn tortilla, usually some raw onion, grilled or stewed meat, lime, cilantro, occasionally cumin, pepper. Extra authenticity points for queso fresco, sliced radishes and lime wedges, and may or may not have salsa or pico as a garnish.

Not one. You can get 'em in LA, San Jose, and taco trucks in Oakland, and lots of areas, but in Vista, which is nothing but suburban sprawl, I didn't get one.

They did have good ones at one place. Not authentic (not by a mile) but made with love.

Another good regional variation, and the best on the trip, was in New Mexico. This is real fusion - using traditional methods with local ingredients. The tortillas were hand made, the salsa was exceptionally well made, the chicken flavorful and seasoned tex-mex, but not over the top, and not out of those F(*@#$ing @#$@##$@ damned, Son of a @#$ Pelican@#$@#$ popsicle@#$@#$@#%* ing stup3@#$ @#$ shakers of pre-made rub. (I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hate these dimes worth of nearly flat spice mixtures. Don't do it, it's inauthentic, and not good. If you buy anything labeled "taco seasoning" you're an idiot. Yes YOU. An idiot. I can't believe you are even capable of reading this. A smarter person must be translating it for you. It's about as authentic as cooking noodles, and dumping on powdered "spaghetti seasoning". BAD.

So look for the real thing, and if you can't find the real thing, look for something made LIKE the real thing, but with local ingredients. My nana (mexican step grandmother) uses longhorn cheese because she likes it, and prepares it like they've done for hundreds of years. What? Everything. She loves the stuff. It's a good enough cheese, even though I probably prefer fresco or blanco, but it isn't out of a can, and it's made with love. Stay away from the chains in the suburban sprawl. They don't care about their food, they care about your money.

And that's a fact.

Chow down, baby

2009-08-05T16:53:00.001-07:00

We've just been reviewed on Chow.com as part of an article called "A West Sonoma Road Trip", by Lessley Anderson.

This is a fairly comprehensive guide to great places in the area, including our own (see about 3/4 down the page). They even compare us to our biggest competitor, in Sebastopol, and say we are the best place to get a beer, compared to their "Chili's"-like atmosphere.

HAH!

Hannah Jern-Miller all August!

2009-08-04T11:45:00.000-07:00

Our usual Friday Night music with the lovely Jen Tucker is on hold, while Jen enjoys a much-deserved vacation. Luckily, Hannah, one of our favorite local up-and-coming musicians will be taking her spot, Every Friday! Don't Miss!

Check her out at http://www.myspace.com/hannahjernmiller

Obama chooses fake beer.

2009-08-02T15:58:00.000-07:00

In the widely publicized meeting between Henry Louis Gates, and Sgt. Crowley due to some unpleasantness at Cambridge, Obama offered up some brews to settle everyone down and have a conversation. Unbelievably, as the leader of the greatest brewing country in the world, the Obamanator chooses.... bud light?

Are you @#$ing me?

I'm less concerned that it's not technically American, as I am that it's not even technically beer, what with rice adjuncting, crappy 4 row malt, and hardly a trace of (high alpha, low flavor) hops. What a let down! I mean, Sam Adams is brewed just a few hours away, and is named after... Samuel Freaking Adams!

I might have to vote independent next election.

Or start a beer party.

Speaking of beer parties, stay tuned for our Second Annual Oktoberfest!!

One year later, Sam

2009-07-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's the way that the shadows bobble when you look up. Those rattan fan blades weren't doing much of a job making me feel like I was sipping rum out of a Pineapple while my squeeze danced the hula in a grass skirt, but they did a fair job of making me feel like I was out on the ole roof again, more of the clear than the red in the ole arteries.

But it wasn't the sauce, and I wasn't lit up; not this time. It was cold hard reality with warm edges, like a dame's backhanded slap to the jaw. We'd just been chewed up and spit out, and lived.

It started simple enough, you know this one - some dame, some Sam, cook up some real goofy scheme, only at the time, it doesn't seem that way. Everyone is smart, until they're put wise. A few telephone calls, sure, that's all it is. Then you jaw with some Sam or Jane - sure just ideas, not a commitment.

Next thing you're the owner of a real classy joint. No hash-house; a real venue, not just boozers, but the canary singing away, the lookers preying on some Sam like me, only not me, because I'm sweet on my kitten, ball, chain, and all. Everyone wants to drink out of the same bottle, chew your ear, slap your back, and tiptoe back into bed. Occidental. Occidental's got bulls like I've got the key to Fort Knox...Sure, there's fights, but the old slugger keeps the Sams in line; nobody wants the wooden shampoo with me as your barber...

The paper is real friendly; everyone likes the grub, and loves the brew. Even when it's slow, there's someone to jaw with and something coming down over the wire to look forward to. They all say we should be content, even blissful with so many friends, and having work. I wonder if anyone tells Sisyphus he should feel lucky, because he's a king.

One year later we have a crack team of dolls and Sams-- all aces, every one of them. I owe them all a story of their own, but that will have to wait a tick. Our eats are better than your grandmother's, and I don't care how freshly she stumbled off some boat. The brew- oh the beer- a glass full of life with bubbles. Don't take my word; ask around. Ask anyone. The word is out, and the mouths keep repeating it. And we keep working harder. My doll, she's no Gretta Garbo glamorpuss. She's a dish, but she's tough. The cooking side of things is real trench warfare; her and Big Mike operate the works, and what comes out is the real McCoy. She's a newspaper dame, not grill jockey, but she does what needs doing and nobody does it any better. Myself, I'm the mugshot on works. I handle the jack, the suds, the Sams, the Janes, the dishes, the dogs, the real Brunos and the daisies. We make it work, but it's not as easy as we make it look.

A year gone by, I remember the parties, the fun, the yelling, the nutjobs, the wiseguys, the crackpots. The feds want their cut. The town wants their cut, even the record companies that recorded some canary yammering on wax wants an annual cut. It all looks good on paper until you realize what a shakedown it can be. We're in the pocket and staying, Sam, and it's been a bumpy ride. Next year though. We'll get the jump on next year. It won't know what hit it.

Now, if there's nothing more, it's time to take a powder, wet the whistle, and get some grub at Barley and Hops.

4th of July

2009-06-30T20:16:00.001-07:00

Father's Day Specials!

2009-06-20T09:12:00.000-07:00

Entree: 16oz Top Sirloin, prepared with an espresso black pepper crust, with a pan sauce of Fuller's ESB

Served with: Classic Idaho Jacket Potato with a balsamic compound butter and fresh grilled asparagus spears

24.-

Also Available: A fresh spinach salad with applewood smoked bacon pieces and hardboiled egg with a tarragon vinaigrette. 8.-

Dessert: Our Brownie / Blondie duo 6.50

Don't miss!

Hours

2009-06-16T11:03:00.000-07:00

Just a slight update to the hours of operation, we've extended weekend dinner hours (fri-sat) to 10:00pm, and the rest of the week to 9:30pm. Enjoy, ya dirty vultures!

NEW MENU

2009-06-10T08:41:00.001-07:00

Is now live! Check it out here

Farmer's Markets, Live Music, Menu Changes, New Chefs, and Lots of Beer

2009-06-03T15:32:00.000-07:00

In our continuing effort to remain the only establishment necessary for going out to eat, I have an entire wheelbarrow full of fun, exciting, and also rad announcements-

1. Farmer's Market: You may not know this, but Occidental has a Friday Farmer's Market, right in the street, every Friday starting this Friday. What's really sweet is that it's an evening thing, because who in the name of popcorn balls wants to get up at 7:00AM to buy crafts, eat sausages, and ~~drink beer?~~ Wait. What? Okay.

So for nearly a century, and by a century, I mean 6 months, I've had these big plans to serve beer at the Farmer's market. It starts at 4:00pm, it's hot, there's live music, and lots of great food. Seems a cold brew would be just the thing! So we check with the ABC's website, which has an event form for only 25 bucks to allow me to sell beer outdoors! I count on this, and tell EVERYONE, including the president, my cat, and Santa, that we will be selling beer there. I'm all ready to build a jockey box, (which is neither a box, nor a vessel for holding jockeys) for dispensing beer, and getting small kegs lined up. Turns out that this form is only good for NON-PROFITS. I didn't know this, because it doesn't say so anywhere on the form(!).

Our hopes are dashed, we return home, tails between legs, crying, arms outstretched skyward, periodically wailing in agony that we've been forsaken by all creatures, big and small, and are in an eternal hell which we've wrought, unwittingly, and which lays waste to all that is good and true; the harbinger of destruction and chaos, bringer of ill-being, and...
Well it sucked. Nonetheless, we will probably sell our world-famous soft pretzels, and grill sausages, and eventually do some draft (root) BEER. So come out every Friday at 4:00 for a great time, and get your beer across the street, at BH Tav, because the ABC doesn't want you to have any fun. They hate fun. And kittens. Yeah. The ABC hates kittens.

2. Live Music. This entire month will be music-tastic (take that Shakespeare). We have a band playing every Saturday evening, so don't miss, check calendar for details. Do you know someone who is in a really rad band, that rules? Send me a link or a sample. We pay in beer and food. No covers. Because ASCAP also sucks (see earlier blog).

3. Menu Changes. By this time tomorrow, we will be unveiling our new menu. Unveiling is sort of an odd term, because it implies that things walk around in veils all the time. Who or what besides a bride is veiled? Weird. Anyway, we have this meatball sando which will blow your mind. It's really good, mainly because it has meatballs, which are really good. We make them. If you have a restaurant with meatballs and you don't hand-make them with love, then you should go jump off something. Nothing too high, I don't want anyone getting badly hurt, but high enough that you think twice about using fake meatballs. Also, our new Chef, Mike has brought his culinary educated, bad-ass self into the mix, and we have some spectacu-licious new desserts, seasonal specialties, and other assorted deliciousness. Check out the new menu tomorrow. It's still ~~affordable~~ down-right cheap, homemade, and rad.

4. Last and most importantly, we have a plethora, a cornucopia, a..er... SEVERAL! new beers. Wait to you check out Little Sumpin' by perennial fave Lagunitas, Sierra Summerfest on draft, Racer 5 now on draft, La Chouffe ... ahhh which brings me to:

GLASS OF THE MONTH!

Very often, I'm asked "Kind Sir, might I purchase this article of glassware, that I may bring it home and enjoy beer properly whilst not present at your Tavern?" to which I universally reply "No. And don't steal it, 'neither, see?" Then I punch the person square in the nose for talking how I imagine the Monopoly guy with the monocle sounds. BUT NOW, for a mere 4 bucks (with beer purchase, wise-guy) you can take home the fancy Belgian glass from which you tip your tipple. This month: La Chouffe, a fantastic Belgian Blonde.

Stay tuned for the menu update tomorrow.

Don't you love your mother?

2009-05-04T12:15:00.000-07:00

If you did, you'd take her to the pub. I mean, if you hate her, and don't care if she's happy on Mother's Day, you could go ahead and take her somewhere else, like applebees or restaurants that aren't Barley and Hops tavern. But, on the other hand, if you actually want her to enjoy herself... be a good boy. 707-874-9037. Make a reservation.

We'll be doing our full menu, and some special specials. Which is why they're called specials. If they weren't, we'd call them mundanes, and they'd be made from things like melba toast and condensed soup. But they aren't, and they're not.

Crab bisque from FRESH dungeoness crabs (yeah, fresh. We're THAT close to the ocean). Three types of quiche. Yeah. That's right. THREE. Which is way better than two. One of them is even vegetarian, in case you hate the food chain, and the circle of life. Or if you're like me, and just like vegetables a lot. One of the quiches has bacon. It's not the vegetarian one. Vegetarians don't eat bacon, except when nobody is looking.

Make your reservation early. We'll get packed. 11am-9pm.

Lagunitas Night!

2009-05-01T14:01:00.001-07:00

COME OUT THIS SATURDAY!!! 5/2/09

The owner of Lagunitas, Tony, will be out playing some music. Dollar off all Lagunitas beer. And I have a lot of good stuff. The very last Farmhouse in existence, some of the final draft Censored, and of course, Pils, my Vintage Gnarlywine, and the new Pale. In bottles, we'll have some hop stoopid, a little Ruben and the Jets, Undercover shutdown, good ole IPA, and more. DO NOT MISS THIS FREE EVENT. If you do, you're an idiot, and I hate you. A lot.

Also, we're going to run our legendary pulled pork special, homemade spicy baked beans, and more...

Also, Porter the Cat says meow.

New Extended Hours!

2009-05-01T14:01:00.000-07:00

You begged for it. Every day. It's all you could think about, like a mosquito of awesomeness, gnawing at the flesh of restaurant hours, reaching for that juicy nectar of more...

Yeah.

Now open 7 days. (no more tuesdays closed). Just for you.
Also, now open an hour earlier on Sunday. 11-9 kitchen on Sunday.

Because we care.

Lucky Otis THIS SATURDAY!

2009-04-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

This one is going to be very slick. This Saturday was going to be musicless due to a scheduling hole, but Lucky stepped in at the last minute get a show rocking. Check him out at http://www.myspace.com/luckyotis. I wouldn't pidgin-hole him into one category, so give it a listen yourself. The show will go on in the evening, probably around 8:00PM. Don't miss this show.

From Lucky's myspace:

Otis, the "Grandson of Rhythm & Blues", is a true L. A. native... hailing from a musical family, he was born & raised in the heart of the black community. Having been heavily exposed to African-American roots & culture much like his father, star child prodigy / guitar super-hero Shuggie Otis ("Strawberry Letter 23"), and his grandfather, legendary R & B pioneer / Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee Johnny Otis ("Willie & the Hand Jive"), Lucky realized his passion for music & began his studies at an early age. In addition to singing & playing a vast multitude of various instruments, he has also remained highly active in the composing, arranging, & recording of his own original material since the start of his already lengthy career.

Foolish fools, ASCrAP, and the great hunt

2009-04-10T14:39:00.000-07:00

One thing I like about small towns, besides the earthiness conveyed when telling someone that you're from a small town, are the quirky festivals. Sure, Geneva on the Lake, near Cleveland has the Grape Jamboree, Gilroy has it's Garlic Festival, and Punxatawnee, PA has Groundhog Day, and Camden, NJ has the annual "New Potholes on the Garden State Parkway" Jubilation.

Occidental has the Fools' Day Parade.

Located in Downtown Occidental, (which is like saying the East Wing of a studio apartment), the streets...er...single road is blocked off so that scantilly clad hippies, crazies, zanies, kids, riffos, and pop-a-squeals (I made up some of those), come out of the woodwork to dress up in silly hats and attire (mainly fish this year), and dance to marching bands and floats. It's a several-hour event with lots of live music, and hungry/thirsty patrons. We had our favorite local band, Peanut Butter and Jam play, outside on our smallish deck, as well as Kosuke spin the best indie music you've never heard of. Which brings me to ASCAP.

ASCAP is an acronym for: Draconian Trade Organization, Hellbent on Raping Small Businesses.

Basically, they represent musicians and composers and make sure that people pay for the rights when profiting off of their copyrighted creative work. Fair enough. We like that. It makes us happy, and gleefull, and also warm and squishy, and also happy. And Joyfull. Anways, the problem is that, without conducting any actual research, they try and bill small businesses (who may not be aware of the copyright act provisions protecting small businesses), whether or not they have actually violated the law.

A small pub is allowed to turn on the radio or TV if it is below a square footage and speaker number, under what we call the Homestyle Exemption. Without checking, ASCAP assumes I'm liable because I have live music (I allow only originals) and have a radio. I don't owe them anything. If I do DJ's, I can pay a FAR smaller amount (a few hundred a year). Fine. Covers Karaoke too. Neat. But I got a bill for thousands of dollars which I don't owe. If I hadn't gone to lawschool, I'd have probably payed it also. I explained the situation to the (befuddled) lady from ASCAP, and she relented, telling me I only need to pay a small fraction for unlimited rights to have DJ's.

This sort of nonsense hurts small businesses.
It hurts 'Merica.
It kills kittens.
Yeah that's right. Every time ASCAP wrongfully sends out a letter like this, a kitten spontaneously poofs out of existence.

Also, we're hiring an experienced line-cook! See our CL ad before appling
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/nby/fbh/1114795658.html

St. Patty's Day (Yes, we're opened)

2009-03-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

I'm aware that updates have become less frequent of late. This is mainly due to the fact that, as it turns out, taxes and accounting are not simple for brand-new restaurants. The amount of data that must be collected, categorized, collated, and continuously counted is astounding. While accounting is a less than facinating blog subject, St. Patrick's day is just the sort of thing one would expect to see the tavernkeep posting about.

Right off the bat, I hate green dyed beer, and so should you. Here's a quote from MSNBC. Brew lovers know Thomas Dalldorf well:

“The worst thing we've done about St. Paddy's Day is to put green food coloring in bad beer,” laments Thomas Dalldorf, editor and publisher of Celebrator Beer News. “The Irish think we're absolutely foolish for doing that.”

And he's right. Not only does it wreak havoc on a draft system, it's tacky and unforgivable. If the pub you're at puts food coloring in the beer, you are at the wrong pub. Luckily, this practice has fallen out of favor somewhat, as good Irish beer other than Guinness (which is also good), has become more readily available.

I'll be showcasing some special Irish beers for comparing and contrasting, and for enjoying with our St. Patty's menu, which will be revealed later. While green beer is non-Irish and tacky, corned beef is non-Irish, and innovative. In the 1800's Irish and Jewish immigrants lived near eachother in New York. Irish bacon, traditionally served with cabbage back in Ireland, was totally unavailable. The Irish immigrants discovered that corned beef, which is basically brisket brined with saltpeter (which is why it stays red) makes a very tasty substitute, and the rest is history. While not eaten in Ireland, it's eaten by Irish-Americans and Jews alike. This is pretty cool, and by cool I mean delicious. We'll have plenty to go around.

So, even though we're not opened on Tuesdays, we are opened on St. Patty's starting at NOON! Come EARLY to get a good seat. Live music at around 8:00PM, Good music throughout the day. No cover. Special Irish beer.

Beholden to bad weather

2009-02-13T13:53:00.000-08:00

When it rains, it doesn't necessarily pour. Apparently, Occidental isn't as much seasonal is it is weather-a-nal. On rainy days (which, I'm told, are desperately needed ecologically), about 1/4 as many people come out. Come weather the weather to your favorite pub - which I assume is our pub, because it's better than other pubs - and hang out. It's rainy out, but it's warm and toasty inside, with hearty food, good conversation, and a game on the big screen.

Valentine's Day is here... almost! It's your last chance to make reservations for you and your sweetie. BH Tav won't break the bank, but we have a great menu including steaks, dungeness crab cakes, grilled salmon, and some very special beer. Call for a reservation today. And don't miss our Kaluha Cheesecake!

A meteoric rise

2009-01-26T12:44:00.000-08:00

We had our biggest week ever, in the dead of Winter. This is how it happened:

There is secret society of food reporters. A culinary Illuminati which get together at ... let's say Whole Foods Cafe'... and hatch plans to help, and at the same time, abuse, restaurateurs. By the way, never say "restauranteurs". It has no 'n'. When you say "restauranteurs" it makes you look foolish, and I publicly mock you mercilessly, and endlessly.

Right, the secret society.

So they want to give some good press, because the fish and chips are really good; or because the location is sweet, or because they just really like the cat logo. Instead of spreading the press out, it is all rolled out simultaneously. Which has myriad effects.

First, I get a call and an email from Heather Irwin, the boisterous writer of the Press Democrat's "Bite Club" food column and blog, of which I'm a reader. Apparently Barley and Hops' regulars have been posting about the Tavern in the comments sections of some of her blog posts. So she comes out to see what all the fuss is about, but does so during the .00000001% of the time that Mir and I are gone home (this was during our brief xmas trip to the inlaws). So Tish, our GM Jedi, takes good care of her (Tish doesn't know who Heather is; she takes good care of everyone.), and Heather has a great meal and a great time. Oh yes, the call. So I get a call, or more acurately, a frantic message, as well as email, that she needed to come in to photograph the place, have some mousse, and a Mirjam's homemade soft pretzel (which is now permanently on our menu... but that's another post). I had no idea she had been in, but was quite excited to meet one of my favorite bloggers. So she comes in and does her thing- I found a beer she likes, which I can do for anyone who drinks, and has a somewhat open mind. She took some really stunning photos, we chatted, and that was that. She published a glowing review, that, yes, we deserve because we're rad and work our asses off constantly-- nonetheless, she really did something big for us. When she left we hoped (and still do) that she will come back for dinner sometime, because she's really, really cool.

And then the floodgates opened. Apparently, a LOT of people read Bite Club (we also were in the print Press Democrat). We didn't think that the article would come out until the following week. The entire week we were slammed like back-to-back New Year's Eves. Eveses. Evii? We are staffed for about what we need for the Winter. Especially after a somewhat slow holiday-- the holidays were actually good, but the surrounding weeks were SLOW, which we'll remember for next year-- after the holiday, we were cautious about staffing. Keeping costs down is important during the Winter, as we've been told buy our fellow restaurant owner friends. Actually we have a secret society as well. A restaurant cabal, hell-bent on providing good food and beer to the masses. Anyway... that verbal trip around Jupiter was to say that we were a bit understaffed, and weren't expecting the absolute deluge of customers.

And then the Sunday paper came out. The Sanfran-freeking-cisco Chronicle. Apparently they had been to Occidental at some point, taken pictures of our restaurant, as well as others, and eaten at our place. The article was about travel to Occidental, but the photo they went with was of Barley and Hops Tavern, and they gave us the lead in the (extremely complimentary) dining section. So all of the Press Democrat readers (a huge paper in its own right) who waited for Sunday came, as well as a flood of Chronicle readers from as far as the South Bay drove HOURS to come to Occidental, and eat at the Tavern. The dam burst. We were slammed beyond any holiday turnout we've ever had. We were frantically calling in anyone we knew to come help.

ALWAYS have a plan B. Always have people you can call, people who will do you a favor, because you never know what to expect in this business. Be ready to drop everything and FIND A WAY to help them when they need you.

ALWAYS be ready to work days with no sleep. Because when you get slammed for days, unexpectedly, you need to restock and prep. I had to make cash and carry runs that absolutely crushed the suspension of our little Saturn. It barely made the trip.

But we did it. We did it, which means we can do it again. It's only a taste of what's to come this Summer. A fire drill.

To the papers... thank you thank you, THANK YOU a million times over.

The best sort of advertising is the free kind - happy customers who like great food and great beer at fair prices - commented on a blog. That snowballed into our best week ever. As the weather grows cold and rainy, it has calmed down a bit, but we're still having record days for the Winter, and we appreciate so, so much, the wonderful people who come and hang out with us at the Tavern.

New Menu Items!

2009-01-10T14:24:00.000-08:00

Check out our new menu items! You can download a copy of our most recent menu on the left side of this page.

We made a trek to Sonoma Sausage company, in search of sausages. Because going to a sausage company for just about any other reason, such as stargazing or perhaps for size 42 pants would be completely inappropriate. Oddly enough, SONOMA sausage company is located in NAPA. Not even on the border, but squarely, or perhaps triangularily, within Napa. Regardless, we sampled several somewhat savory sausages. Our prior experience with SSC has been positive; they were our source for Oktoberfest sausages, which were very good, by which I mean tasty. We've decided to bring in the Hawaiian-Portuguese sausage, which doesn't have pineapple, but is good. Odd that anything with the Hawaiian appelation must automatically contain pineapple. As if that's all they do in Hawaii - eat pineapples, roast pigs, and hula dance. It's insulting. I mean, they also wear coconut bikinis, construct tikis, and cook spam.

Jen Tucker Live!

2009-01-08T13:28:00.000-08:00

Jen will, once again, rock the house this Sunday at 6-ish! Woohoo! Barley and Hops Tavern loves Jen, and so will you. Come on out this Sunday for some great accoustic.

AND

New Beer.

Oh my jumping jellybeans, they've arrived.
Lagunitas Brown Shugga... on draft!!
Lagunitas Pils... on draft!!
Stumptown Rat Bastard pale ale.. on draft once again!!

And, new in the bottle

Lagunitas Ruben and the Jets... the last of the Zappa Beers due to copyright issues. 22oz bombers.
Still avail for a limited time... Moylan's White Christmas - a great spiced lager. 22oz bombers.

Don't miss Grotten Brown cave aged Belgian, from St. Bernardus abbey. This is pretty rare on draft, and I have the proper goblets. Get it while I can manage to get it. 7.50

Hoist your pint to a happy Brew Year!

2009-01-03T12:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, people get worried and depressed on New Year's eve. I think it has something to do with the wistful drone of Auld Lang Syne, which nobody actually knows the words to. I point you, those hoisting your champagne glasses skyward, toasting the new year -- I point you to a favorite verse from Auld Lang Syne (Old long since, or, more colloquially, "long long ago"):

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
And surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

There's the problem. This is the source of New Years' resolutions never quite taking hold: You're toasting with the wrong beverage! It's right in the song. A pint cup is a beer vessel, especially in 1788 Scottland, where the poem was written. A raised pint of ale, not a flute of carbonated French wine, is the catalyst to your success in 2009. So raise your favorite Scottish (not Scotch) ale and toast the New Year properly; quick, before it's too late!

--

Suggested Brew Years Resolutions for beer geeks, journeymen, and amateurs:

Quit drinking macro. If your beer isn't made with love, it isn't worth buying. Support your local craft breweries.

Try something new, just because you dig the name. I would never have discovered Hair of the Dog brewing otherwise.

Open yourself to a new style. Hop heads- give Belgium a chance. Ale nuts, crack open a Starbrno. Lager maniacs, give an IPA another whirl.

Give a pub another chance. Ever have a bad experience at a pub? Me too. Everyone deserves three tries. Even if they have ugly wallpaper and a short beer list (you know who you are).

Write reviews. Tell everyone about where you love to go and why. Nearly everyone who walks through my door learns about a couple of my favorite other restaurants / pubs around. On that note, don't miss the Starlight in Sebastopol, Rocker Oysterfeller's in Valley Ford, Stumptown in Guerneville, Moylan's in Novato, and Toad in the Hole in Santa Rosa. Write about your faves on Yelp.com or your favorite review site.

--

Today's continuation of yesterday's post.

2008-12-20T12:33:00.000-08:00

When we last left our heroes, they were headed off to the Featherbed Railroad, and you, the viewer, were asking what precisely the hell is a Featherbed Railroad...

Situated in (technically near) Nice, California (it is nice there, but it's pronounced like "niece", lies a quaint bed and breakfast known as the Featherbed Railroad. Recently under new ownership, Thanksgiving was actually our second visit. The B+B consists of your choice of nine original cabooses, with converted fairly luxurious interiors. Each caboose has a different theme, and is decorated accordingly (Orient Express, Mint Julep, etc...) and most have a Jacuzzi inside. I don't mean a "Jacuzzi tub" but a full blown hot tub takes up about a third of the interior, and sits at the foot of the bed, and doubles as the shower (the faucet detatches from the tub and acts as a hand-held shower sprinkler). With no curtain or privacy whatsoever. Really. So whomever you decided to B+B with will be treated to an eyefull of you trying to bathe in the center of the room. Good thing the windows have shades.

Each caboose is also situated on it's own individual short length of track. From the outside, it looks like a caboose museum situated in a sort of garden.

For Thanksgiving, the new owners put on a (complimentary!) full spread for all of the guests, as well as their own family members. The food was great (though I think I need to send my cranberry sauce recipe along... sliced CANberry sauce is evil). Especially the cajun turkey, which was really yum.

Having a day off on occasion is critical to our sanity. Our little 2 day Thanksgiving break really picked us up and we were ready to rock when we got back. Any would-be restaurant owners who regularly read my blog should take away the importance of scheduling the occasional time off. I don't mean that day per week where you aren't at work, but work all day anyway - I mean actual time off.

Which brings me to our big New Years party.

People have a lot of options for New Years Eve. I've seen a lot of parties which cost upwards of 100$ per person, not including transportation, etc... We at the Tavern, ever cognizant of the current financial state, especially after holiday shopping, are doing something different. The Andy T Band featuring Hash Brown will be playing (I'll personally be drumming) - NO COVER CHARGE. That's right, just bring yourself and have a great time! We'll have some special holiday beer, champagne, aforementioned live music, and some really special holiday lamb shanks, in addition to our regular menu. We'll be serving food till late, and partying all night! We look forward to seeing you there.

Hungry Hungry Hippos!

2008-12-18T13:53:00.001-08:00

That's what you all are. It's not enough that your humble narrator has given up every minute of free time to create the best pub in the greater Occidental metropolitan area; you, the voracious reader demand more blogs. "How else, but through your self-important blogging, wouldst I know which beverage to quaff?!" you ask. So, as put so eloquently by Whitesnake, "Here I go again..."

In reverse chronological order, some of the highlights and lowlights follow.

Our very good friend, HH, has left for brighter pastures in some state that's far away where there are things like non-Russian rivers, and everyone wears feather boas or something. Anyway, as I've blogged about in the past, HH was a smoker, so for a month I had to not shave and he couldn't smoke, and Mir had to dye pink streaks into her hair. Well let me tell those of you who do not sport beards about having a month of hair on your face. It's like having your face attacked by scotch-brite pads. It's itchy and uncomfortable and awful and not rad. But I did it, and he didn't smoke, and Mir's hair is still pink. Which is kinda nifty-- unlike quitting smoking, which I can only imagine sucks, being a non-smoker myself-- because she looks good with pink hair. And blue hair, but that's a story for another day. Probably a Wednesday. Blue hair is more of a Wednesday sort of thing, don't you think? Well maybe you should then, jerko.

Next we had Thanksgiving. Now, we've had a few interesting Thanksgivii lately. When we first moved, we ended up at the buffett... buffet... bufett... Smorgasbord. They had turkey, and by turkey, I mean the poor teenage girl was carving a chicken breast because they were a) out of turkey; or b) thought nobody would notice. Everyone there seemed to be upset at crazy aunt Margaret for exploding the kitchen and burning the bird. I just assume that everyone has a crazy relative who can't cook, but tries. We thought the whole scene was hysterical, in a dark comedy sort of way. Then, there was the "Nobody loves me Thanksgiving" which we hosted for a group of friends that had families too far away to make the trip. That went beautifully because we cook everything perfect, and our friends are cooler and more attractive than your friends and family. By far.

So this year, the best thing we could think to do was to escape for a minute. A lot of things have been said by a lot of people about the restaurant business, but one thing I can tell you with certainty, is that if you aren't bone-tired exhausted at the end of each and every day, and without sufficient sleep each and every morning, you will not be successful. So we headed to the featherbed railroad (obviously... this would be your first inclination as well, yes?). What the hell is a featherbed railroad?

Find out tommorow. This is a 2 parter, because I have to head out to work. Bone-tired. But at least you hungry hungry hippos have something to nibble on today.

More Live Music, and of course, football! and Pie. mmm. Pie.

2008-11-10T13:02:00.000-08:00

Today, 49ers @ Cardinals. Come see SF battle the oldest football team in the US, bar specials include 75 cent organic wings, and, of course, $2.50 select drafts and bottles. On Thursday we will be featuring our own Rachael Farinelli, live on accoustic, and on Friday, Jen Tucker will be back to rock the house again. If you or your band would like to play at Barley and Hops, we pay in food, beer, and tips. Send us a sample and your schedule.

Also, we now have special glassware for St. Peters beers. Because Saint Peter wouldn't want to drink beer from a pedestrian tumbler. Right now, we're pouring 500ml bottles of St. Peter's old-style porter. As with traditional porters, it blends old and new batches. Malty and delicious for the winter time. Well balanced.

Lastly, but not leastly, make sure to save room for pie! piepiepiepiepiepie. Pie.

mmm.

pie.

We make our own all-butter crust. A different pie each week. Well, more than one pie. We sell a pie in about a day. But a different variety. You understand. And if not, you're probably kind of dim. But all is not lost; dim people enjoy pie as well. This week is boysenberry-peach.

Music Tonight! No Cover! Sat 11/08

2008-11-08T14:13:00.000-08:00

DJ Soultwist spins Reggae, Down Temp, Blues, and Jazz for you listening pleasure. Come for the best food around, stay for the music and massive beer selection!

Hay!

2008-11-06T13:07:00.001-08:00

There are a few things that newcomers to rural life notice, right off the bat. The cows mooing, the sheeps bleating, and the hay ziggurats. I'm not sure what posseses all farmers to construct these terraced hay structures, but I assure you no public farm is complete without one, or, more typically three. Each year, we pilgrimage (buckle-hats and all) out to whatever local farm has a nice pumpkin patch, and usually a corn maze, for a nice Fall day of picking pumpkins, and getting lost. This year was no different; in fact we visited multiple area farms, but they all had hay ziggurats in common. I'm not sure whether northern California is populated by Aztec farmers, or Q*Bert enthusiasts.

Anyway, we had planned to do a Halloween event of some variety, but we were unable to book music for the night, so, instead, we didn't. That didn't stop the town from coming in costume, which was pretty spiffy. Extra spiffy were the large number of girls who came in dirndls with steins, which is appropriate attire for a tavern. Also, Mirjam decorated the bar with light-up spiders, cobwebs, dangly bats, and such. It looked awesome, and by awesome, I mean super. I thought about putting up a Bud sign to scare people, but there might be children present, and I wouldn't want them to have nightmares about beer made with rice.

In restaurant news, we have started fresh pie of the week. That doesn't mean that we only bake one a week, because week-old pie isn't very good, unless it's a hostess fruit pie, which isn't really pie (and I don't think really contains fruit). This week is peach. Mmm. Pie.

Also, Mirjam is now 31, which necessitated a party. We went to a Sharks game with group-o-friends, and she got a pink jersey, which looks really cute with her new pink hair. Tish also got a pink jersey, which made them look like a mini girl shark team. I got an authentic jersey because pink didn't match the my shoes. It was a great night at the Shark Tank; 3-1 defeat over the Wild continuing an undefeated at-home streak. Mir at a Sharks game is quite a sight - she gets very riled up and screams a lot. Sorta like when a customer realizes we're out of Maui Coconut Porter again.

In addition, there's a new bar kitten, the newest addition to Tish's family. Her name is Lola (my suggestions of "Captain Flookie" or "Snugglepaws McWhiskers" were summarily overruled). Lola enjoys porters and stouts, like our new St. Peter's Old-Style English Porter, served in proper glassware 500ml for $8.50, or our new Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout, in a 22oz bottle for $6.50.

Thanks to all of our customers to making October our most successful month yet. As we head into the Winter, rest assured that your favorite watering hole will be serving up warm pub favorites and new specials and the finest beer from around the world, so bring in your friends for a pint, check out Monday night football, bar specials (42 inch high-def plasma!), and, of course, magical rainbow ponies.

We're working on getting a consistant entertainment schedule going. We pay in beer and food, plus tips and CD sales if you have CDs to sell. If you don't have CDs to sell, you can sell t-shirts, or autographed watermellons, or whatever. We do NOT charge cover at the door. Currently, we're most interested in Rock, Blues, Indie, Jazz, Bluegrass, DJ's who play down-tempo, reggae, etc on VINYL (not interested in CD-J's or IpoD-J's). Not so much interested in cover bands, hippie-folky-dead, bongos. Email us with a sample ASAP, tell your friends / favorite bands! Check out our myspace at www.myspace.com/bhtavern.

Grapples are what's wrong with the world.

2008-10-15T16:04:00.000-07:00

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that the handfull of blueberries you're eating would be much better if they tasted like cantaloupe. Or that bananas should really taste like a grapefruit. Enter the Grapple (you say it gray-pull). We were at the 24 hour megamart, minding our own business, looking for a fruit to eat. Mmmm, apple season. How 'bout some apples. Everyone likes apples; after all, they're appley. Crunchy, and they taste appely. Yup, that's what they taste like alright. Apple-tastic! Except when they are injected with artificial (AND natural) grape flavoring. Fuji Grapples.

Unlike the minimal, and by minimal, I mean complete lack of, packaging which accompanies most of your fruits, Grapples come packaged the same way batteries, or pre-paid wireless cards, or pug-themed party favors, or burnt-umber doilies come packaged; 4 to a blister-pack. Removing the device from the packaging fills a 25 cubic foot area with the exact scent of a grape jolly rancher. It looks and feels like an apple, and it's crunchy, but it tastes EXACTLY like an apple that's been injected with artificial grape flavoring. Sorta like dipping apples in melted grape ribbon candy.

This sort of food and beverage technology is yet another solution looking for a problem, like the Jimmy Dean chocolate-chip pancake covered sausage on a stick (really), and the aluminum can that some crappy mega-brewery uses which changes color when it's cold. Because you're WAY too stupid to know that the snarking thing is cold on your own. Which might actually be true if you actually pay to drink what comes in those high-tech beverage containment devices.

It's yet another illustration of craft versus mass-produced. The craft business may be small, or it may be large; it's not a question of size, but of method, of philosophy. The mass-produced corporate food concerns itself primarily with advertising, packaging, and product-line expansion based solely on gimicks. A great beer in a brown bottle is better any day than a branded half-time show, talking frogs, color-changing cans, buzz-words (budweizer is really going with "drinkability"... really?) and other hollow non-beer-related marketing fluff. I'd rather taste an interesting apple, newly imported from somewhere overseas, or a great craft beer made with an interesting grain; real craftsmanship does evolve and press boundaries, but Grapples ain't it.

DJ Tyler Spins the Reggae this Saturday, October 11th at 7:00 PM

2008-10-09T12:41:00.000-07:00

Come on out and groove to DJ Tyler spinning this Saturday! The second in our increasingly regular Saturday DJ series, Reggae is this Saturday's theme, so dread your hair up and enjoy. You're Welcome, Occidental.

NO COVER. 7:00PM

DJ Koskue Spins, Saturday 10/3 live at 8:30PM

2008-10-03T14:17:00.000-07:00

You may ask yourself, "self, what the snark is there to do this Saturday at 8:30PM" to which I'd provide the following answer "come out to BH Tav and see DJ Koskue spin some down-tempo records, perfect for hanging out with friends, and drinking a few craft brews". NO COVER. I repeat NO COVER CHARGE. Because really, who likes to pay cover?

Sausage and Steins...

2008-10-01T00:10:00.000-07:00

Let me point out that Oktoberfest does, in fact, start in September. It's traditionally 16 days long, ending in October, where mine was a mere three. The second most common question of the weekend was "Hey, Tavernkeep - why is your OCTOBERfest in SEPTEMber... isn't that a SEPTemberfest?" to which I'd answer "No". You see, Oktoberfest honors the sausage harvest (wurst erntedankfest) which happens in September. Each year, the various sausage vines (except for weisswurst, which grows in moist caves) are picked at their height of freshness, in mid-September by large men in lederhosen. Next, the ripe sausage are ridden by young children down the Rhine river, and finally towed by yak to the top of the Zugspitze, Germany's highest mountain, in the Alps. It is atop the Zugspitze that men, women, and yaks all yodel the sausage anthem.

(English translation)
Oh bratwurst and weisswurst- your casings we do pierce
the blutwurst and knockwurst- tasty but not fierce
Braunschweiger is smooshy and rather odd
Bockwurst tastes nothing like fresh cod
So yodel-dodle-tee-do

It is this song that kicks of Oktoberfest, and that's why it starts in September. Mainly because of Yaks.

Anyway, our Oktoberfest was a smashing success. The Paulaner Oktoberfestbier kegs were killed in a day each, leaving me with none for Sunday - luckily, I had brought in 4 other great Oktoberfest beers in bottles, which lasted through. Also, I brought in the real Hofbrau 1 Liter steins, which I sold completely out of. Luckily, I have one behind the bar as my new bartender mug. The German menu went over very, very well. Enough so that we may continue the koenigsberger klops (German meatballs) and perhaps the soft pretzels. Ohh soft pretzels. The thing about pretzels is that if you want to make more than 8 at a time (and you do, because 8 lasts about 8 seconds), you need a gigantic mixer made by Hobart, which is basically a nuclear reactor connected to a dough hook. The process is not complicated, but the results are delicious. As a native liberty-belle (I just made that up... you know, she's from Philly... I'll draw you a diagram later), Mirjam knows her pretzels. But, as mentioned in a prior post, there are precious few, and by precious few, I mean no places to obtain real Bavarian / Philly soft pretzels anywhere at all on the west coast. So to work she went, using our little pink Kitchen-Aid (yes, it's really pink) to make the perfect Oktoberfest pretzels. They were so good that they only lasted for two days. They're delicious with mustard. And so is sausage. But that's not the point. The point is that we need a Hobart so that we can make soft pretzels a permanent addition to our line-up.

Besides all of the sausage, pretzels, and beer - we brought in music. A friend of mine who is a local volunteer firefighter, Steve, is a regular at the BH tav. His father, it turns out, is an accordion player, who has been playing said squeezebox since he was 6 or 8 or zero or something. Due to his mastery, and the well known fact that it's not Oktoberfest unless 1) it's September, 2) there is beer and sausage, and 3) there's accordions; I decided to book Steve's dad, Steve. Steve's grandfather, Steve, also plays, and he sat in on Sunday. This was quite the accordion setup, complete with effects pedals, drum loops, midi bass- he was a one man band. It set the mood, and made everyone want to eat sausage and drink beer. Which most of us already want to do, without prompting, but it reinforced that desire. On Saturday, the incomperable Tammi Gosnell absolutely rocked the house. The place got really, really packed, because apparently, Tammi has quite the couple groupies which follow her to her shows. I jumped in to sing a few bars of Blister in the Sun with her, which was pretty rad, and by rad, I mean sweet.

Speaking of sweet, our friends, the A's popped in again. Out of nowhere, they strolled in totally unexpected, which is pretty much the best thing ever. When you move far away from anyone you know, seeing a familiar face among the crowd is pretty awesome. It's even more awesome when it's a surprise. Friday night, the A's crashed at our house, which is also always fun. Even after the insane day, the weeks of preparation, we were able to relax for a couple of hours - we watched Breakin (part one), drank beer, and it was like old times for a little while, which meant quite a lot to your humble tavernkeep and tavernmistress. A lot of our local friends came out, and we made a lot of new ones. Everyone seemed to have a really good time, and enjoyed their special food, and fine German beer. And sausage. And yaks. And really, isn't that what celebrations are all about?

Oktoberfestmenu!

2008-09-26T11:05:00.000-07:00

Feast your festing eyes upon this, your Oktoberfest Menu! This is our menu for the 26th, 27th AND 28th of Oktober. No burgers, no fries-- it's Oktoberfest, eat your sausage!

Special Oktoberfestbier

Paulaner Oktoberfest – Paulaner Brauerei, Munich, Germany, 6.0% abv
Amber in color with a rich creamy head, and a smooth, lightly hopped flavor......4.00 (Draft)

Erdinger Oktoberfest Weizen – Erdinger Weissbräu, Erding, Germany, 5.7% abv
This bottle-conditioned German Hefeweizen has the crisp and somewhat citrus character of a wheat beer, but with some of the malty characteristics of a Märzen..................4.00 12oz bottle

Hacker-Pschorr Oktoberfest Märzen – Paulaner Brauerei, Munich, Germany, 5.8% abv
Bavarian barley slow roasted, caramelized to a rich, red amber color combined with the purest spring waters from the Alps, exclusive yeast and the finest Hallertau hops..........4.00 12oz bottle

Hofbräu München – Taatliches Hofbräuhaus München, Munich, Germany, 4.9% abv
This pale German lager is what a refreshing lager beer all about. Smooth, light, and crisp
without sacrificing flavor .......................4.50 16.9oz (special 500ml) bottles

EKU 28 – Kulmbacher Brauerei, Kulmbach, Germany, 11% abv
This world-famous beer has the character and richness to stand in for fine sherry or port. Just the right degree of sweetness - never cloying; wonderfully aromatic and warming..................................6.50 12oz bottle

Oktoberfest Stein
Take home your very own 1 Liter traditional dimpled Oktoberfest Stein, with Hofbräu München's logo in color on the front!
....................................................12.00
....................................................15.00 with a full liter of Paulaner Oktoberfest (sorry, no substitutions)
.....................................................7.00 Paulaner Oktoberfest refills (sorry, no substitutions)
(Note that your stein may be refilled with two draft pints from any draft, and may be reused throughout Oktoberfest!)

Beer Specials

Bavarian Bottle Tour
Try each of three different Oktoberfestbiers for a special low price!
(Includes one of each bottle above except EKU 28)....................10.50
.............22.00 (with stein)
.............25.00 (with stein full of Paulaner Oktoberfest)

OKTOBERFEST FOOD MENU!

Starters

Soft Pretzel... 3-
Our homemade chewy, soft pretzel served warm with Inglehoffer stone ground mustard

Koeningsberger Klops with Mustard Sauce... 6-
Savory German meatballs served with mustard sauce for dipping

German Potato Pancakes... 5-
Two pan fried potato pancakes served with a sour cream, green onion, and horseradish sauce

House Greens... 7-
The freshest, best organic greens we can find. Your choice of house made ranch, blue cheese, malt vinegrette, or oil and vinegar (add bohemian burger patty for 4-)

Entrees

Sausage Platter... 11-
A grilled Bavarian Brat and a Polish Kielbasa served with Inglehoffer mustard, German red cabbage, and our homemade soft pretzel.

Wiener Schnitzel... 11-
A pork cutlet breaded and pan fried, served with German red cabbage and warm potato salad.

Koeningsberger Klops & Spaetzle... 9-
Savory German meatballs in a creamy caraway sauce served over homemade spaetzle. We even bought a spaetzle maker, so we can create these delicious German dumplings!

Sides

German Red Cabbage... 3-
Made with cranberry juice and cinnamon, this is a classic German side dish that you'll love!

Spaetzle... 3.50
Traditional German egg noodle dumplings served with a creamy caraway sauce.

German Potato Salad... 3-
You can't have Oktoberfest without the potato salad! Served warm and made with vinegar, bacon, parsley, and seasonings.

Sauteed seasonal vegetables... 3-
A mix of fresh vegetables sauteed with butter, garlic, and extra virgin olive oil.

Sweets

Apfelstrudel... 6-
Just like Großmutter used to make! A flaky, tender pastry filled with apple goodness

German Chocolate Cake... 6-
Decadent and delicious... yum

Oktoberfest! and Monday night football!

2008-09-12T13:18:00.001-07:00

Oktoberfest is coming to Barley and Hops Tavern! The rumors are true - live music, a special (authentic) Oktoberfest menu, special Oktoberfest beer, and other special specialness for THREE days.

September 26th, 27th, and 28th during normal business hours. That means Sunday, all day long starting at noon. Because we open for lunch at noon on Sunday.

ALSO

WE ARE NOW OPEN ON MONDAYS (closed Tues). That means that Barley and Hops tavern is the place to be for Monday night football. During the game select drafts and bottles for 2.50! Also, organic wing specials, garlic fry specials, quesadilla specials, and more!

mmm... quesadillas.

Kitty kitty blog time....

2008-09-10T02:02:00.000-07:00

It's often necessary to preface a cat-related activity with "kitty kitty". Our kittens, Porter the Cat, and Hops Pierka Bolmer, are often subjected to the following:

"kitty kitty dinner time"
"kitty kitty bath time"
"kitty kitty outside time"
"kitty kitty advanced integral calculus time"

In much the same way, wines, and to a far lesser extent, fancy beers, are prefaced with completely incomprehensible balderdash. This serves, in theory, to tell a story about what sort of grape or grain made your beverage possible, which fancy hill it grew on, and whether or not it was made by magical ponies under rainbows. In the way that DiVinci doesn't preface his works with the chemical composition of the paint, but allows the onlookers to simply take it in and enjoy, the art of tasting has, at times, become obfuscated in the science. It's awesome and neato-rad-alicious to be able to wax coherently with other aficionados about whether it's caramel or toffee coming through on that last note, whether this estate is better at producing this grape because of this amount of relative humidity - but.... BUT! Beer ... (and wine) ... are about enjoyment. Is it... GOOD? Is it... YUMMY? Is it crafted with love by people who DO know the science AND the art? The overall experience of a beer shouldn't be lost by delving too deeply into the intricacies. This doesn't mean that there is no time nor place for the endless adjectives, appellations, and comparisons, but by all means: enjoy your beverage for what it's meant to be - an overall experience without the constant need to dissect. Even my cat understands. Simply have kitty kitty beer time.

Which brings me to rollercoasters.

A funny thing happened during a busy night. I turned 31. It snuck up on me because I was so busy owning a tavern and all, that I didn't have a chance to cry in the fetal position like I did on my 30th. It just so happens, that my in-laws were down for the event. Now let me tell you something about my mother-in-law. She's coo-coo for cocoa puffs, but without the for cocoa puffs. She's nuts, rather like me, but in a more New Jersey sort of way. A typical moment was Sigrid (said mo' in law) talking about how odd it was that Nikki (my chef) MISS-pronounces "herbs", because she says the 'h' (note that Nikki has an English accent, where such pronunciation is proper). All the while, in her very thick NJ accent, miss-pronouncing nearly every word BESIDES herbs. I love her dearly. I really wish the whole in-law fam lived here. They were so helpful the 2 weeks they were down, it was like having a real kitchen crew! As a small restaurant owner, I'm familiar only with being woefully understaffed and always within a centimeter of complete and total exhaustion.

So for my birthday, they took me to 6 flags Vallejo, which is pretty much like 6 flags anywhere, except it's a converted marine world, and has giraffes. Giraffes aren't marine animals (except for the water giraffes of Delaware) but this park is a zoo with rollercoasters - we saw killer whales, and manatees, and manta rays, and porpoises, and I saw a bee. Because of my wife's and mother-in-law's condition- not being able to withstand the extreme awesomeness of loopy-doopy coasters, Maria, my little sister-in-law and I went on every ride at the park. And then they all ate funnel cake, which I don't really like, because it's basically donuts, but less good.

Next, we headed back via Novato, home of Moylan's. Moylan's is yet another of north bay's many world-class breweries, along with Russian River, Moonlight, Bear Republic, etc... Moylan's'...s? Moylanses'' ? Moy... their... restaurant is really neato. It's open-beamed and beautiful, except for the acoustic tile false ceiling, which is lame, but the beer is great. I enjoy their barleywine, and their red (which I now carry in 22oz bottles).

The next day, at work, there was a whole thing with wearing a fuzzy apron and singing happy birthday to me and embarrassment on a very busy day. I'll leave that at that.

In other news, I had a visit by none other than ratebeer.com's owner. I'm not sure what happened, but Firefox is telling me not to visit the site due to potential malware attacks at the moment, but rest assured, I'm sure he'll get it up in order. He reviewed my place very nicely, but missed a lot of great beer which I actually DO carry, much to the contrary of his report (I DO have lambic, multiple Bear Republic offerings, a Russian River handle, rares, and non-Chimay trappist). So come on back for a pint!

NEW POST

2008-09-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

Coming soon. I haven't forgotten about my blog, I've been slammed planning Oktoberfest (!) Huge post tomorrow. Also, if you like the football, we're now open Mondays for the football. Which I think is something to do with sports and feet.

The first month

2008-07-29T01:16:00.000-07:00

Our first month has come and went. As we softly opened on the 23rd, and July 23rd rolled around, it hit me that we'd accomplished a full month of what we set out to do, and I wasn't prepared. We had a quick short of ... I can't remember which draft, and went on with our usual 18 hour day... Now, Monday night or Tuesday morning, depending on whether or not you live by the clock, or by a sleepytime to sleepytime schedule, I've finally had a moment to reflect on exactly what it is we've managed to accomplish, what we've learned, and what we're going to do in the future.

I've learned that three back-to-back double shifts bumping us to over 80 hours a week are more than mere mortals can handle. Even though my blood contains about 30% caffeine at any given moment, and my shoes are fairly comfy, I'm snarking a bit with our hours so we can sleep, which is something I vaguely remember having to do with feather filled rectangles, or bears or acorns or something.

On the beer front, I have some newbies going on the list such as the venerable Fullers ESB which isn't particularly bitter, as with most bitters. I suppose a dry wine is fairly wet as well, so I should stop complaining. In addition, I've gotten some He'Brew Origin Pomegranate ale, which is basically a very balanced IPA with something in the background that turns out to be pomegranates if you think about it really hard, or look at the label which has the word "pomegranate" on it. Also, I have Tetley's English ale, which is a nitrogen can filled with a perfect pub ale, perfect for, you know, drinking and stuff. Hair of the Dog brewing is being a pain in my pomegranate, so no more blue dot for a while, and Maine's blueberry is out as well for not restocking. I've changed out Lagunitas IPA for the Lucky 13, which is their premium IPA, which means it's better. Whenever something is premium it's better. Ever had an off brand saltine? Then you know where I'm coming from. Which is here at my laptop at 1:30am.

I'd also like to point out that Mirjam has been kicking butt back in the kitchen. If you've eaten a good burger at BH Tav, there's a strong possibility it was made by her. Yeah, I said BH Tav. It's what ALL the kids are calling Barley and Hops Tavern. They're all "Yo, Troy, let's hit BH Tav, they have hella good pub grub", and then Troy is all "ok, that sounds delightful". And then I'm all "Welcome to Barley and Hops" and then they go "you mean... BH Tav!" and then we all laugh.

Oh, and so this band called "sound connection band" was in town. I'm not sure what a sound connection is, but apparently it involves a good-sized group of some of the most fun people I've ever met. It was one of those things where it made me cool to be around them. Earle did kill my keg of Rat Bastard, though. Thanks a lot Earle. He's the guy in the picture who looks like he killed a third of a keg of Rat Bastard pale ale.

Also, I'll be brewing a batch of beer soon. It's a bit of a secret project at the moment, so I won't go into details yet.

rewind.

2008-07-15T00:18:00.000-07:00

The recap of our grandest of openings had been further delayed due to certain relatives holding the photos cataloging this momentous occasion hostage. You see, in order to simultaneously pour 5-6 pints of beer like a sort of demented octopus, I ran out of appropriate appendages for camera operation. Luckily, family members, and a certain server documented the occasion with a camera of her own- but neither have provided me with photographic evidence, backing up my assertion that we were, indeed, slammin'.

For all YOU, my audience knows, Barley and Hops Tavern had not a creature stirring (not even a mouse...)

Alas, the opposite was true.

First, our friends, the A's showed up. The A's, Aaron and Amy, are married couple; a team of sorts. A Team. A-Team. See where I went with that? Yeah, the A-Team showed up. Let me tell you something about the A's - they are always there for the long haul.

Once, my lovely wife and myself went to Treasure Island for a music festival with the A's. For those of you from somewhere other than the greater San Francisco area, Treasure Island is an artificial island right smack in the middle of the Bay Bridge, and was built sometime in the 30's to commemorate the building of the Bay and Golden Gate bridge. But my point is that I'm not a big Heineken fan. You see, as much as we love music festivals, Aaron and myself, and the girls, really enjoy a fine sudsy beer. However, even after checking booth after booth, stand after stand, and tent after tent- the obvious became apparent: this was sponsored by Heineken, and if we wanted a beer, well gosh damn it, it would be a snarking Heineken. So we had a few dozen and stuck with it, all the way through the show, even though Heineken is the Budweiser of the Netherlands (which is, in turn, the Holland of Europe).

So the A's planted their respective asses on our extraordinarily comfy barstools and stayed for about 90 or so of our finest beers, from the early afternoon, until whatever time it was when we got home, which was some hour that we didn't realize clocks had, as we'd never been awake for it before. They stuck with it, which I suppose makes us a bit like Heineken, but with more hops.

In addition, my family and extended family came to wish us well, eat our food, and leave large tips. Dad is a musician. His name is Andy T, and I can only guess the T stands for turnip or maybe torque converter. He brought Howard, the bass player and my server, Rachel- her brother flew out to play the drum kit, which I supplied. I also sat in for a song and sucked. It was awesome, and by awesome, I mean rad.

The thing is, I really thought I had a lot of pub glasses. Mountains of them sit behind the draft faucets, waiting to be filled with beer and cider - but I ran out. Ohhh boy did I ever run out. I ran out to the point where I was pouring people beers in two little tiny short beers equaling one pint. I was expecting a crowd, but I wasn't expecting a mass of people filling my restaurant, filling the deck, wrapping down the stairs, and into the parking lot. And they all wanted beer. Except that some wanted wine. I did not have enough white wine, even though I had about a dozen bottles, and was pouring by the glass, it was not enough for the opening, which caused this review.

Afterward, we lay in bed staring at the ceiling, basking in what it was that we wrought with our own hands.

Grand opening, and Finland.

2008-07-07T20:57:00.000-07:00

The post was going to be simple, a recap of our opening- the band bringing the house down, my landlord cutting the rug - line of people wrapping from inside the building, filling the deck, down the stairs, and into the parking lot. My parents and relatives flying from around the country to be there for support, our best friends driving up and spending all day at the bar. Completely running out of pint glasses, and having to sell beer in two short glasses. Selling out of most of the food in our kitchen.

I will do all of this in great detail, with usual festoonery, frills and embellishment.

But yesterday, something very special happened, which really defines and affirms why we got into this business.

A young couple from Finland walked in, and I instantly knew they were from northern Europe. He had a Rat Bastard, and she had a cider. Hearing "Rat Bastard" with a Finnish accent is a peculiar pleasure which I imagine won't come along again for a time. They shared an Occidental - our popular cheeseburger, which they really enjoyed and then came out into the bar. I decided to sit down and have a chat with them, and the hours slipped by, past closing, as we moved from Rat Bastard (a beer from the superb Stumptown brewpub, about 20 minutes away) to Oaked Arrogant Bastard, a very strong beer from Stone brewing.

We learned that Finland is a country which is a European melting pot of sorts, due to the various rule and occupations throughout the years, by Russia, Sweden, and others. We learned that the sauna is, in fact, a big part of Finish life, and that nudity is far less taboo, though not always to the benefit of the onlookers. We learned that they suffer from the same macrobrew shortfalls, yet good microbrew culture which an American will probably never get to sample. We learned that reindeer tastes game-y and has little fat, that heavy metal is popular, and that English is learned early on. We found out that it would be extraordinarily unusual for a bartender in Finland to converse with customers, and that religion and wages are taboo subjects, even among close friends.

What we learned is fascinating, but the idea that four people from opposite ends of the earth can sit down, crack an exceptional beer (or 5), and laugh, joke, talk, and learn really makes the world seem a bit smaller. Craft beer isn't just about the Barley and Hops. It's about the passion for life, and learning what all is out there. The restaurant will do well, the opening was phenomenal, and I will properly recap it - but this was the night before we'd finally get sleep (I slept 12 hours and woke up this morning) yet we stayed late to hang our with our friends which turned out to be quite a lot like us.

A start.

2008-06-30T23:45:00.000-07:00

Most people, whether or not asked, will provide you with an opinion on most matters, especially as it relates to someone other than themselves. I enjoy the feedback from my customers, be it helpful (I need to get purse hooks below the bar), dubious (I should install a salad bar), or illucid (I should stay open 7 days a week, and do lunch service).

Thankfully, despite the apparently numerous ways I could make the Tavern more suitable to the specific wants and desires of an individual, most of the people who have popped in for a bite and a brew have enjoyed it. Clean plates and empty glasses don't lie. Actually, empty glasses are prone to hyperbole, but that's not really lying as much as exaggeration. Butter knives- now they are the real hucksters.

It seems that our big days are thurs-sat, from about 6:30 on. I'm not sure what happens in Occidental after 9:30, but it's completely barren. There aren't even crickets chirping after 9:30. In fact, I was just talking to a cricket today, who informed me that even the amoebas are dead silent after 9:30. Don't people know that I'm still pouring? My open sign bathes the Tavern in a blueish glow, beckoning locals to come and have a frosty pint, and watch whatever happens to be on ESPN at 9:30 or so. Usually it's some made-up sport like porpoise swallowing, or soccer.

I've found the problem with the mega-breweries. They put all of their money into bottle and can technology, and into advertising that technology, and make up for the cost of doing so by replacing beer ingredients (barley, hops, yeast, water) with adjuncts (corn, rice, pure distilled evil, sugar). Metal bottles in shiny blue, can tops which are designed to pour smoother... none of the research seems to be going to the "make this beer less crappy" R&D department. Get rid of the talking frogs, the stupid can and bottle modifications, the party cruises, the gigantic sponsorships, the slogan wars, and what's left? Fake beer.

At the Tavern, I serve real beer, and vow only to serve real beer. Real beer is crafted, not manufactured. Real beer is made with real ingredients, not cost-cutting adjuncts. Real beer is for real people. And robots. Robots HATE fake beer. Except for that robot that came with the original Nintendo. They drank Milwaukee's Best, which was probably the real reason for their downfall.

We grand-open on the 4th of July at 11:00am. Live blues and great pub-grub.

And real beer.

And robots.

Ok, not robots.

But real beer.

Friday number 1

2008-06-27T10:39:00.000-07:00

It has been quite a few days - so much so, that I've been negligent in updating the blog. I've been getting home after 1:00am and leaving early, until today. Sometimes, you have to get a few hours of sleep.

We've been getting about 4-5 tables a night, and some bar traffic - everyone seems to be leaving full and happy, which is why we're here. I need more traffic to continue to be here, and this weekend will certainly be telling. With the Farmers' market, and the foot traffic, I think it's going to be a great night.

Unfortunately, an experienced line cook who was in for a bit had other obligations, and had to cancel the job, leaving Nikki short handed.

It's interestingly nepotistic - all of the chefs rotate among the local kitchens, and everyone knows everyone. Last night, Nikki's (and now my) friend Tish pinch hitted for a while for a couple beers and a meal. That's the environment- everyone helps everyone else.

I drove down to Brian's place in Santa Rosa yesterday morning to pick up a much-coveted keg of Death and Taxes, which is a black lager akin to schwarzbiers I've enjoyed. Brian is a local operation with a small space who turns out some incredible brew. I encourage all locals to seek out pubs carrying Moonlight Brewing. In addition, Peter from Stumptown, a brewpub in Guerneville (gern-ville) hooked me up with what has become my number one selling handle so far, Rat Bastard. Rat is a great beer with a lot of hop on the nose, but not overwhelmingly so- it's a study on balance. Peter didn't provide me with a handle (ahem!) so I've made one for that draft.

One staff member, Bailey, is an exceptional barista. I've learned a lot about pulling a proper espresso from her. Unfortunately, the tavern crowd doesn't order a great deal of espressos, cappuccinos, and the like. I'd really like to see more use on that front.

Attending to the business of the business is time consuming. Paying the bills, computing the payroll, programing the POS, making deposits, keeping up on the regulatory agencies... it's nearly a full time job.

Mir's out east at a wedding, this weekend, so we'll see how a super-small crew handles the Friday rush that I'm expecting.

Pictures soon, I gotta get in the ring for round 5

Opening Morning.

2008-06-23T07:49:00.000-07:00

It's been a while, because the week leading up to opening day is quite a long haul. I've gotten a collective good night's sleep spread out over seven days, so I should be ready to go.

Looking out my window, it's a rainy day - I like rainy days. Today should be slow enough to deal with any issues coming my way.

The cheese is sliced, the burgers are hand formed, the potatoes are cut for fries, the bottles of beer are chilly...

...and my kegs haven't arrived. I've made a special opening bottle list with some interesting beers.

It looks like this:

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale – Sierra Nevada Brewing Company, Chico, CA, 5.6% abv 12oz bottle

This classic pale ale is a perfect balance of cascade hops and malt character................................ 3.50

Sam Adams Summer Ale – Boston Beer Company, Boston, MA 5.3% abv 12oz bottle

Summer in a bottle. A wheat ale from the brewers that helped start the microbrew revolution..... 3.50

Sudwerk Hefe Weizen – Sudwerk Privatbrauerei Hubsch, Davis, CA, ~5% abv 12oz bottle

A Bavarian-style wheat beer, refreshing and with some spiciness.................................................. 3.50

Abita Purple Haze – Abita Brewing Company, Covington, LA, 4.75% abv 12oz bottle

Abita Brewing uses Raspberries make this fruit wheat beer a summer favorite............................ 3.75

Seadog Blueberry – Shipyard Brewing Company, Topsham, ME 4.64% abv 12oz bottle

Wild maine blueberries give this fruit wheat beer refreshing fruitiness without overpowering

the delicate, crisp finish.................................................................................................................. 3.75

Lagunitas IPA – Lagunitas Brewing Company, Petaluma, CA, 5.7% abv 12oz bottle

Well balanced hop character make this India pale ale an excellent example of the style.............. 3.50

Oaked Arrogant Bastard – Stone Brewing Company, Escondido, CA, 7.2% abv 12oz bottle

An American strong ale, this is Stone's Arrogant Bastard, made better by aging on oak chips..... 7.00

St. Peter's Cream Stout – St. Peter's, Bungay, England, 6.5% abv 500ml (~17oz) bottle

Fuggles and Challenger hops plus a blend of four local barley malts create an aromatic, strong,

dark cream stout with a satisfying bittersweet aftertaste................................................................ 8.50

Maui Coconut Porter – Maui Brewing Company, Maui, HI, 5.7% abv 12oz bottle

Chocolaty with a touch of coconut. Superb.................................................................................... 6.00

Starobrno Lager – Starobrno Brewery, Brno, Czech Republic, 5.0% abv 12oz bottle

This authentic bohemian pilsener has the crisp, somewhat grassy character which comes from

the very soft brewing water used in the Czech Republic............................................................... 3.50

Hofbräu München – Taatliches Hofbräuhaus München, Munich, Germany, 4.9% abv 12oz bottle

This pale German lager is what a refreshing lager beer all about. Smooth, light, and crisp

without sacrificing flavor................................................................................................................ 4.50

Ace Apple Cider – California Cider Company, Sebastopol, CA, 5% abv 12oz bottle

Made locally from local apples. This cider has nice apple flavor, a touch tart............................... 4.50

Ace Pear Cider – California Cider Company, Sebastopol, CA, 5% abv 12oz bottle

Sweeter than the apple counterpart, refreshing............................................................................... 4.50

Green Flash Barleywine – Green Flash Brewing Company, Vista, CA , 10% abv, 22oz bottle

An excellent American barleywine, dominated by malt character with great hop aroma.............. 12.00

Duvel – Brouwerij Moortgat, Breendonk-Puurs, Belgium, 8.5% abv 12oz bottle

Best in class Belgian strong ale. Dry, fragrant, masterful. Enjoy with respect for its potency....... 7.00

St. Louis Kriek – Brouwerij Vanhonsebrouck, Ingelmunster, Belgium, 4.5% abv 12.7oz bottle

A cherry fruit lambic. Balanced cherry with some tartness; champagne-like................................. 5.00

---

My wine list looks like this:

Wine. You may think that grapes are just for making grape beer, but it turns out that some people like drinking wine too. Generous ¼ bottle by-the-glass house wine pours. We love the following CA wines:

Smoking Loon Cabernet Sauvignon, California

Our house Cab. Plum and cherry flavors carry over nicely to the palate, where the flavors

are intense and well proportioned....................................................................................... 7.50gl/18.00

Smoking Loon Pinot Noir, California

Our house Pinot. Fruit forward and wonderfully drinkable, the 'Loon pinot pairs nicely

with just about everything................................................................................................... 7.50gl/18.00

Smoking Loon Chardonnay, California

Our house Chard. Fresh, pleasing aromas of bright fruit, balanced acidity, and light

vanilla oak notes.................................................................................................................. 7.50gl/18.00

Toasted Head Cabernet, Dunnigan Hills, California

2008 Gold Medal – San Diego Int'l Wine Competition. Excellent all the way and around, the

bold, ripe-fruited Toasted Head Cabernet delivers plenty of fine flavors; long and satisfying...... 28.00

Frei Bros. Redwood Creek Cabernet, California

Mild on the palate, the cozy Redwood Creek Cabernet delivers pleasing red fruit flavors that

simply slide onto the palate; try with burgers.................................................................................. 15.00

Gnarly Head Old Vine Zinfindel '06, Lodi, California

The rich Gnarly Head Zinfandel brings you right into the beautiful land of old vine zin vine...... 25.00

Red Truck Pinot Noir '06, California

Quite good all around; ripe and lively; a great wine with fish, salads, and chicken....................... 25.00

Cycles Gladiator Pinot Noir, California

This is pure Pinot Noir with a hint of spiciness on the nose. Wild berry and vanilla notes............ 28.00

Toad Hollow Chardonnay, California

Crisp, tart, lively; a bright and complex chard which pairs particularly well with fish and chips.. 28.00

Trinity Oaks Chardonnay '06, California

Fine ripeness and impressive balance; finishes easily..................................................................... 15.00

The formatting will probably look odd, tonight or tomorrow I'll post a menu the way it is meant to be seen.

A good post tonight, but for now...

I have to go to work.

Coming Soon!

2008-06-15T01:02:00.000-07:00

As opening day approaches, the mood begins to grow more and more anxious, and a bit apprehensive. Luckily, moments of ecstatic elation punctuate the worry, keeping us level-headed as can be expected. Staffing nearly complete, Chef Nikki, who I'll go into great detail about at some point soon, has been a valuable resource in many areas beyond the kitchen, and is, in some ways, the keystone of our operation. It's our vision, but her paintbrush, and our collective reputation.

Had a good pretzel lately? It's not easy to find a real Philly soft pretzel in this neck of the woods. I'm not sure why woods are described as heaving necks, but I can assure you that the woods' necks in this area are Pretzel-Free. This is an unfortunate predicament, because a certain dish I've conjured up involve drunken Bavarians, which invariably run around Germany eating sausages accompanied by soft pretzels. In the states, Pennsylvania is the conduit to all things German and Pretzel-y, hence, my need to source the twisty, malty, salty wonders from 3000 miles away.

We shall open on the 4th of July, the celebration of Occidental's freedom to enjoy a beer, a sausage, and a pretzel at their local pub.

All chook up.

2008-06-10T08:05:00.001-07:00

You know you're in business when your name and title are emblazoned upon a small rectangle of paper.

Yesterday, Mir printed out the first batch of business cards, and they look perf. Double-sided, vertical; they're grabby. And not in the way that Old Man McCloskey is grabby. They're good-grabby.

We've hired a chook. Chook is a word I've invented to describe a chef which I can't afford to pay enough (yet), and is therefore a cook (but really a chef). Her name is... not telling, because we're finalizing the business today. The business involves signing, notarizing, shaking hands, playing golf, payoffs, the mob, and those clicky-ball things that executives keep on their mahogany desk. After the business is in hand, I shall properly post her chook-ography on here, your humble narrator's digital dwelling. What I can say is that she's talented and funny.

In addition, I've finally attached splunker. splunker is a potato-press. It's a gadget that attaches to the wall so you can drop in a potato and instantly turn it into proper fries, or chips if you're from some wierd place like Europe or Hollywood, or if you're eating fried fish, which always transforms fries into chips. Who has ever eaten Fish 'n' Fries? Nobody, that's who.

Rad to the max

2008-06-04T00:07:00.000-07:00

On rare occasion, words fail me. It's not an innate inadequacy of the English language- it's actually quite a nice language, once you come to terms with it. The failure is mine. There are moments which unravel the very fabric of what we; the consumers, expect of a night out at a restaurant.

It's a well known maxim that any restaurant with any permutation of:

Golden
Star
Dragon
Happy
Panda

is a Chinese restaurant, 38% of which are buffets.

As the rubber from my wife's 2002 Saturn's tires spun hungrily down Bohemian Highway to our Ameri-Asian respite, we considered the kung-pao, the egg-foo, the sweet-and-sour, and the requisite green Jell-O, that cake that looks like it will taste good, but inevitably disappoints, and a chicken dish named after a famous war hero.

One of the forgoing monikers, which I shall not mention lest I unwittingly insult the humble proprietor, reflected in our winshield, heralding our arrival like a brassy gong.

Upon entry, we learned that our preconceived notions were for naught. Enough neon to placate a Debbie Gibson meets Tiffany trapper keeper hummed a constant drone, and we realized that this was no Chinese buffet. There would be no Moo-shi, no Hunan, no Hoisin, no fortune cookies. This was a diner, from 1985. Every wall was mirrored, every switchplate was mirrored. Every booth separated by expanses of faux flowers, but not the convincing silk kind- the mold-injected plastic flower-esque kind.

The food was unremarkable, as diner food from the 80's should be.

Restaurants are culinary time capsules. It is important to continually create, lest you end up a vestige of a time which, in a culinary sense, is best left forgotten.

Old Man McCloskey

2008-05-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

In TV programs from the '40s and '50s, there is often an antagonist in the form of an older individual which just doesn't get those darn kids. Often, they are addressed by their last name, preceded by the honorific "Old Man".

There is a product which has been used for decades to seal wood which must weather the outdoors. It is known as spar varnish. Now "spar" in this sense does not refer to feigned pugilistic intent, rather, it is the mast of a boat. I imagine that masts are fairly important, as entire boats are made of wood in need of varnish, yet it is the spar which the product is named for.

Roundabout though it may be, I'm getting at an important point. McCloskey is a brand of spar varnish, bearing the full label: McCloskey's Man-O-War Marine Spar Varnish. A man-o-war is a type of jellyfish from Portugal, so I'm not sure what it's doing moonlighting in varnish, but the name McCloskey is one of those old-timey names that amuses me endlessly. First, I instantly thought of Old Man McCloskey chasing that whippersnapper [insert old-timey kid name] from the candy shop.

Also, it'd be a great name for a sandwich. I imagine Jimmy Durante ordering one: "Make that a McCloskey on Rye, Mac- hold the pickles and make it snappy. hah-cha-cha."

In addition to applying McCloskey's Man-O-War Marine Spar Varnish to the outside bench/table things, I installed a 42-inch Samsung HD set on a motorized mount, and had DirecTV set me up, so that thirsty customers can watch the Sharks win while blowing the froth off a couple. I've always held that hockey goes best with a copper red ale, and some onion rings.

Moreover, we had our first meal at Barley and Hops. The first meal ever to be cooked and eaten at the tavern consisted of two pannini sandwiches (I calls 'em a McCloskey), some wierdly good organic snack bite thingies, and chips with salsa. It was eclecticly delicious, and the pannini press and convection oven work respectively like charms.

In other news, the high table stands have arrived, and the bar area is practically set up as it will be for service. The bar-height tables are great- they save space, and give diners an option to see the TV in the more casual bar area (as opposed to the black-tie formal dining we are planning for the rest of the restaurant).

A couple of days ago, the owner of the Inn at Occidental, Jerry, stopped by, and agreed to put our menu and entertainment schedule in their giant book of Occidental things to do. This is the same great place that my folks stayed at, and can't stop raving about. How many B+B suites out there have a private hot tube alcove, complete with Adirondack chairs? (Hint: it's 5) It's been great how everyone in town has stopped in to show their support. Every day, we meet someone new (which means by this time next week, we'll literally know everyone in town) wishing us well. It's uncanny and wonderful. Mr. McCloskey himself wouldn't have asked for a more welcoming place to live (with his jellyfish and boat masts).

Tables woes and finally, a quick rest

2008-05-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

Epoxy resin, or "glaze coat" is this super heavy thick goop that they coat bars with, and embed things into other things (like photos into a table). We decided to use it on our tables which we did the copper finish on, in order to provide a bomb-proof finish to protect it from all of you messy eaters. Luckily, it cleans up with acetone. Unfortunately, it turns out that it's extraordinarily hard to work smooth over a large surface. You have to pour it on, and then spatula it smooth- sort of like frosting a cake, but only if you decided to use cold molasses mixed with honey to frost the cake with. Which might actually taste good.

Then you get to hit it with a MAPP torch to remove the bubbles. That part is fun.

Then they come out all wavy and crazy-like, and you aren't sure what to do, except curl into a fetal position and cry, because you've just spent days doing it.

Well, the solution is finally at hand. I sanded them down a bit to remove the waves, then went to finer grit to smooth the sanding and give it a nice satin finish. Then buff it out with a mix of oil and paste wax. The results will be posted later, as we have to get an orbital buffer to do the job properly. In any case, we are much happier with the new look, and can move on to more fun things, like finally removing the plastic from the floor, and having my 16 stools delivered, and having the POS terminals serviced, and the fire department in, and the gas turned on to the stoves, and...

So this weekend, my folks came up to check out the place. Dad had seen it in what I call "the before time", which will be funny to any Road Warrior (Mad Max 2) fans out there... so basically me. In the before time, the place had been left to its own devices for over a year, and was therefore filled with spiders and year old grease. Now, it's still plastic, but looking very nice (except the tables were still in wavy shiny mode, much to everyone's dismay).

We ate at Bistro Des Copains, a very cute little bistro in Occidental, and the only place in town we had yet to eat at. The owner is a really nice guy, and warmly welcomed us to town, (even though it's not a town, which you know if you read my blog, which you do). We had a nice dinner and some great wine, and then my folks (Mom, Dad, Gram) stayed at the Inn at Occidental, a cute B+B that is very convenient, very quaint, and has amazing rooms.

The other reason they came up is that dad is a blues musician and was playing at Biscuits and Blues, a great blues club in SF, with blues legend Philip Walker.

It was a great show, and they do have good food, but probably too expensive by double. Thing is, you can charge an arm and a leg for food and beer at a club when there is music, especially in the city. We won't be doing that. Occidental has made it very clear that they want great food at a good value, not city prices for country food.

While overnight in SF, we stayed at hotel Monaco. This is probably my favorite hotel on the planet. Every room is different and decorated with crazy stripes, huge round mirrors, and all sorts of other creative creativities. The best part is that they'll bring you a goldfish in a fishbowl, and take care of it. A little pet when you're away from home. Last time, our fish was Sparky. Sparky was a good fish- he used to go "blub" and then we'd talk about particle physics. This time, we got Fat. Yep, his name was Fat. He really isn't that fat of a fish, but I'm not an expert on fish naming conventions. I've also never been to a fish naming convention, but I imagine they are rather dull after the keynote speech.

Perky

2008-05-20T22:04:00.001-07:00

Beer is my passion, but coffee earns a close second, and in the morning, it's my world. Today, our shmancy cappuccino machine was serviced. We had just ripped out the old kinky copper water lines, which are my bane, and installed braided stainless lines, which are rad to the max (because they don't kink when you pull out your icemaker). We also discovered that we have separate water filtration systems for the ice maker, the perk, and the bar sink, which is weird.

Anyhoo - the service guy dutifully serviced the espresso machine (please for the love of pie, don't be one of those people who say "expresso" it is eSpresso, it always has been espresso, and it always will be, so stop messing it up). He serviced the snark out of it. It's apparently a super-nice machine, which has neato features which allow me to program pour size, and it can do 4 double shots of espresso at the same time. And I can tell you first hand, that first espresso was just dynamite.

Now, a tavern might not usually have such a robust caffination solution, but since it's there, I shall offer a comprehensive coffee menu, because nothing goes with porter pecan pie like a cup of joe (except, perhaps, a glass of porter, but I digress).

In other news, I have to tell you about painting with hand-hammered finish paint. When you paint, or lacquer, or whatnot- one must use the proper solvent for cleanup. I have solvents galore. I have so many solvents, that I could pretty much dissolve anything. I could Forrest Gump about it: Acetone, Denatured Alcohol, Mineral Spirits, Turpentine, Toluene... the list goes on. But there was one product which I did not have on hand.

Xylol. Xylol is a type of Xylene. Xylene is a benzine derivative which makes me want to cry. I had never heard of Xylol or Xylene, so naturally I didn't have any on hand (though occassionally I stockpile things which I have no idea what they are).

I didn't know I needed the aforementioned Xylol, until I noticed that no solvent would remove this particular paint. So I RTFM (read the manual), and realized I needed ... you know. So we get the can home and open it... boy does it work. And wow- the fumes. They're intoxicating. Like for reals. Not only am I seeing pink elephants, but I'm also hallucinating because of the stuff. Let me just say that next time you're sitting around with your can of Xylol, open a window, or use a respirator, or install a laminar flow hood.

Lastly, we've also installed some really cool brass (looking) medallions around the light fixtures, a Tiffany-style chandelier, and new lighting fixture fans in the restrooms, which involved tearing up the ceiling, cutting the hard air ducting and attaching flexible air ducting to rout to the new (vastly better) fan system. Notice my bare hands on fiberglass insulation. Don't try this at home. I was, however, wearing a mask, so I'm still alive, albeit itchy.

The ceiling in the lady's restroom will probably be getting tin ceiling treatment, so pardon the hole in the shot of the fixture. Or don't pardon it, take it in and enjoy its holey goodness. Cheers for tonight, I'm getting some food, and a frosty Fat Tire.

Under Pressure!

2008-05-15T23:37:00.000-07:00

It was what we had been dreading. Sure, all of that sanding, painting, and polyurathaning was tedious -- but the kitchen...

The kitchen has not been occupied for a year, so it was upon us to clean the snark out of it. I want an impeccably clean kitchen - a kitchen so clean, that you could eat out of it (!) Step one was hiring a pressure wash crew to do the major crud-busting; the ovens, flue, etc. But today we got up on our matching ladders (yes really, we spend so much time in the air that we have matching ladders), and cleaned the ceiling, and cleaning a ceiling when there are deep fryers is no small chore. In fact, it's a hippopotamus-sized chore. In fact, if you were to go to ... wherever it is that hippos live (I imagine them in a hippodrome) , you'd find them blushing at the size of said chore.

So we did that all day. And the walls, and miles of stainless shelving, and other places what must be spotless (everything).

But let me hit rewind for a moment.

I have a friend in Santa Rosa, Paul, who owns the (outstandingly good) Toad in the Hole pub and music venue. It's a great little place where the beer distributors come to have a beer (and are great for a chat), where the bangers are smashing, and the peas are mushy. Paul has given me a lot of great advice, most of which I'll keep to myself, but I did find out about Cash & Carry. This is a store, or chain of stores, which has many of the things which food-service vendors will bring you for a markup of about 3-6 zillion percent. It's also a great place for consumers to get an entire turkey breast for 1.25 or so / lb, and a case of Snapple for around 80 cents / unit. Pretty cool -but the best part is that the various detergents and fry oil and the like is insanely reasonable compared to the going rates through vendors. In one fell swoop, Paul has saved me a great deal of $, savings which I will use to maintain a reasonably priced menu, which is no small feat!

They also have whole wheels of cheese, which is reason enough to warrant a visit anywhere.

It was an excruciatingly long day; we didn't leave until 8:30 at night. I think that tomorrow will be easier. Most of the cleaning is done, all of the painting and such is finished, so now, it's the fun stuff.

Lacquered Poly Ura-crylic Varnish Stain.

2008-05-12T00:13:00.000-07:00

Talking about wood treatment is like talking politics. There are so many products, and every wood-be (see what I did there?) expert opines exuberantly. I had settled on lacquer (see my earlier post) mainly because of the extremely fast dry time. Without getting into the mundane specifics of it, I've jumped ship and swam out to polyurethane island, because the stuff goes on so easily, buffs out readily, and actually smells kinda good. For the outside wood, I'll be using spar varnish (the stuff they use on boats).

The detail work is endless. All of the little things that make the whole grand take time and patience, both of which I lack. Luckily, Mir is patient and has her tiny artist brushes out to cover up any flaws that her husband makes with his big paws.

It's all MINE!!! Mine I tell you.

2008-05-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

We finally got a grasp on what all we have. In order to have the kitchen professionally pressure cleaned, we had to remove all of our dishes, hotel pans, and smaller equipment - which meant hauling it all upstairs. Having everything organized in one place finally lets us see what we've got, and what we need. One thing I can tell you, is that I don't need any oval plates. If you were thinking "hmmm- I bet Noah and Mir could really use some oval plates, and therefore will send them a few thousand" ... think again.

Also, the first beer ever to be drank at Barley and Hops Tavern is Lagunitas Pale Ale. It has nice grapefruity notes from what are probably expensive noble hops.

Banner's up.

2008-05-07T19:13:00.000-07:00

Apparently, even a nice print from ~~our wide format printer~~ "Mr. Printums", was not quite visible enough to the casual passers-by. And honestly, what passer-by isn't casual. To rectify the situation, we had a banner printed up at Looks Good on Paper, a full service print shop in Sebastopol. They did a fantastic job. Now all who gaze upon the sunny yellow victorian shall know what the future will hold. When? Read the sign: Soon.

Crowned by Occidental Hardware

2008-05-03T19:06:00.000-07:00

Ahhh the wonders of living in a ~~small town~~ CDP. The very rough texture has made it impossible to cut a nice paint line where the wall meets the ceiling. We've therefore settled on crown molding. I do not currently own a compound miter saw, so I walked into Occidental Hardware, the best hardware store in all of Occidental. The owner's son checked out the place, and has agreed to do the work for me at a very fair price, and even haul the material up. They are going to get square stock and rout a fillet (a rounded concave corner) to make it look nice. In 15 minutes I had the idea, the measurements, the price and was ready to go- all without setting foot in my car. Try doing that with home depot.

Oooo the pretty colors

2008-05-02T11:34:00.000-07:00

At long last, the place is starting to look as it should. Primer now covers just about all of the previous paint, and about half the restaurant has been painted. The various detail work will take quite a while, and involves a lot of taping. The windows take about 45 minutes to tape off, and look like some sort of deranged connect-4 game. I'm convinced there is a special circle of hell where bad painters go, where they continuously tape off rough edges with cheap tape that doesn't stick. Also, I finally had a use for my 25 foot extension roller handle; painting the two-story high ceilings in a particular alcove of the restaurant was a snap with it.

Snarky screws

2008-04-29T21:55:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a Robertson screw? It's an obscure type of screw drive type used mainly in Canada; it's a square. Do you have any Robertson bits for your drill? Me neither. Which is why I had to use my multidriver (one of those hardware store screwdrivers with about 16 bits onboard) to turn out these ENDLESS screws to remove the bathroom fixtures for priming.

Our color scheme is also getting firmed up. We've abandoned burgundy because it was overwhelming the room with large amounts of trim. Instead, we've settled on a smokey blue. Introducing a cool color into a warm palette may be counter-intuitive (to those with absolutely no vision!) but, it looks just swell. It pops without adding more richness, in a stone, slate sorta way. I really love this color.

Mexican Food

2008-04-27T20:08:00.000-07:00

Today was yet another day of detail sanding. The good news is that we got down some paint as well. The indian ink and oak cask go great with the slate blue accents. We've set the back room as sort of a model, it's nearly finished and has given us the inspiration to continue this furious schedule.

After work, we checked out the Mexican restaurant in town. Really good. I hadn't really considered it competition before, but good food at a good price is always competition. Nice girl running the place- cooking, serving, and cleaning.

All oiled up

2008-04-25T23:23:00.000-07:00

The first thing a patron sees upon entering the tavern is the staircase. We've spent more time stripping and sanding this staircase than any other single item. Fortunately, it turned out to be wonderful black walnut (I think) under all of that paint, which we've rubbed down with linseed oil, and it's a beauty. Next comes lacquering, something I've never done, which is why I know it will

1) be easy
and
2) come out perfect on my first try

The Dust Settles

2008-04-23T21:55:00.000-07:00

Renovation work is grueling. We've put in 10-12 hours per day getting Barley and Hops in shape.

In its former glory, Barley and Hops tavern was a quaint bistro known as Pignoli. Very heavy texturework adorned every wall, and most of the wonderful cedar and redwood was covered in many layers of paint, from the various establishments which have inhabited the restaurant previously.

We've decided to sand down the texture using my (new) collection of power-sanders, ranging from finishers, to my big-ole skil belt sander. This task has (mercifully) come to its conclusion, as has the even more arduous one -- stripping the multiple layers of paint off the gorgeous wood staircase, doorframes, and beamwork. This caused a lot of cleanup work (days' worth) and we are now finishing the sandwork on the wood, so that we can oil and laquer it. We've also finished the mudwork (joint compound) on the walls for a much simpler and more tavern-y texture.

We've chosen a very pub pallate of "indian ink" for the wainscoting, and "oak cask" for the walls, to give a warm, inviting feeling. There may also be burgundy accents.

With the dust settled, I can finally put down the very heavy belt sander (lifted skyward with one hand, like atlas on a small scale) and respirator (don't want whitelung) for the simpler dremel for the finish work.

Still left to do, renovation-wise:

Finishing sanding
Lacquer and basecoat for the wood
Primer and paint for the walls
Re-covering the banquette; unfortunate, but necessary

The keys.

2008-04-08T16:58:00.001-07:00

Today was exciting. We were handed the remaining keys to the building in which we shall be spending most of our time in the near future. All-in-all, 5 new keys have found a new home. The weight in my pocket seems an appropriate reminder of responsibility we've taken on.

Good food is good.

2008-04-07T14:13:00.000-07:00

I've learned, through grueling research, that dining out involves dining. This has lead me to further research, and importantly, conclusions.

First and foremost, we've eaten at a lot of restaurants to see what it is that works; why we are drawn back like Pavlovian subjects, salivating at the mere thought of the perfect hot wings (The Sweet Spot, Santa Rosa), the perfect burger (The Counter, Menlo Park), and the perfect beer to accompany the perfect meal.

It's astonishing how much bad food there is out there. Ranging from pre-packaged microwavable atrocities, to pseudo-haute cuisine which cruelly distorts a comfort favorite with silly embellishments, overly technical cooking and plating.

There is nothing inherently wrong with experimental and efficient cooking. The problems arise when a chef complicates for the sake of complication, or sacrafices quality for laziness.

Great tavern food is:
1. Whenever possible, grown locally and organically, with love and care.
2. Balanced in flavor, in texture, and in presentation.
3. A great value.
4. Different seasonally, weekly, and at times daily, depending on what is fresh and delicious.

Succeeding in not failing.

2008-04-07T13:53:00.000-07:00

It costs exactly 3,527,831.27 to start a restaurant properly. Not having the requisite funding, we've started one improperly.

The inevitable response to "we're opening a restaurant" is "oh, you're crazy, as all restaurants inevitably fail without the requisite 3,527,831.27 ". Interestingly, this anathema; this pox on all restaurants seems only to exist with respect to restaurants which are no longer opened.

Is it the food? The atmosphere? Is it the "Location, Location, Location"? What we've done to mitigate the trials of new restaurant ownership is many-fold, which I've summarized in my brain, in order to blog on them in my upcoming miniseries: "Stuff to do, and not to do, when starting the perfect Tavern in Occidental, CA".

For the love of Beer

2008-04-07T13:39:00.000-07:00

Sebastopol, CA is a quaint city in Sonoma county, an hour north of San Francisco. It ranges from posh to quaint, though everything is ensconsed in bohemian earthiness, which is somewhat foreign to me.

Occidental, California is not a city. It's neither town nor village. It's a Census Designated Place, or CDP. A CDP is a community which is both small and unincorporated, and is therefore managed by the county, not by any local government. It's about 8 miles from Sebastopol, in the middle of nowhere.

I live with my wife and two kittens in Sebastopol.

We are opening a tavern in Occidental.